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IELTS Writing Task 2: Video games - positives and negatives


YanSun 4 / 7 3  
Dec 22, 2012   #1
First of all i have to say how amazing this forum to me, as an IELTS candidate. this is where we could share ideas and valuable recommandation.

I will remain myself of practicing writing at lease 4 essay a week.

IELTS Writing Task 2: Video games (2012-12-22)
Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

What youngsters play has changed dramatically as compared with 1980s. Students nowadays prefer staying with computer games to spend their leisure after school. As a result, some video games are generated exclusively for educating child, but most of them are for the purpose of amusement that they may have subtle negative effects on children. In this essay I am going to present both the positive and negative influences of video games on children, following by my point of view.

We need to admit that some video games are made for educating children. With vivid image and animated conversation, stories told by video games are more likely to be remembered by children in their childhood. For instant, a video game named 'Bear in the beach' is programmed to teach children English by telling a story of bear traveling all the way from city to beach site with his mother. Children would not feel bored to learn English if they play the role of the character.

Unfortunately most of the video games as I can remember are not educative and informative. Instead, those best sold video games often come along with violent and sex contents, exclusively for youngsters. For them, it is awesome to do something which cannot be done in real life. A classic example is the game 'The Sin City' where players play the role of an offender to kill ordinary people and stole money from them in the street. Indeed, it is common that players are addicted to/ indulge in the video games. Needless to say that it is a waste of valuable time; it also produces seeds of crime for many players.

Personally, I think video games should be played by children with parents' guides. Moreover, the time of playing should be limited to the extent that normal live is not to be interrupted. I also encourage that video game maker should take more social responsibility. They should think twice before making violent games merely for money.

Thank you everyone and wish you happy and healthy in coming 2013.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Dec 22, 2012   #2
What youngsters play has changed dramatically as compared with 1980s

The games of young people took a dramatic new turn in the nineteen eighties.

Students nowadays prefer staying with computer games to spend their leisureafter school.

Nowadays, many students prefer to spend their leisure time playing computer games.

As a result, some video games are generated exclusively for educating children

Your first body paragraph is very well presented. It contains good points together with examples to support them.
April April 13 / 148 22  
Dec 22, 2012   #3
For instantinstance , a video game named 'Bear in the beach

where players play the role of an offender to kill ordinary people and stolesteal money

addicted to/ indulge in

=> what is the slash for? Are you using both these words or considering which one to use?

Needless to say that it is a waste of valuable time; it also produces seeds of crime for many players.

=> you may connect these two clauses with "Not only... but also" to demonstrate your skill to use complex sentences.

I think the topic asks you "do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits" so in the conclusion you should state clearly yes or no, and after that say that "video games should...".

Your essay is well-structured and ideas are delivered clearly.
Keep it up!

Best


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