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IELTS task 2: video games provide harmless fun


StarSea 4 / 10  
May 15, 2014   #1
Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

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Nowadays, computer games are becoming a popular topic among kids. People have have different views about whether or not students should be encouraged to play them. My view is that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

On the one hand, there are three reasons why those conservative teachers are against video games. Firstly video games, especially multi-player online games, are completely time-consuming as students learn nothing by spending time playing meaningless games. In this way, video games can delay the development of a student's career in the futeure as he or she will not accquire sufficent skills such as interpersonal communication and mathmatics. Secondly, computer games is a main reason for the reduction of outdoor activities because students tend to contact each other in-game and less likely to have face to face interactionsl. Finally, compared to video games, there are other choices which are much more meaningful. For example, people who take painting and music as their hobbies tend to solve problems in a more creative and brillient way in contrast to those who spent all their time on computer games.

On the other hand, I would have to support various advantages that video games can offer. Firstly, multi-player online games provide the oppoturnity for kids to collaborate with other players as a team member. This may benefit their career development later as skills, such as social contact, are key requirments to enter large companies. Secondly, a lot of social network services providers, for example Facebook, have already intergrated onlie games into their own network systems. In other words, it is efficient and sometimes even necessary to maintain connections and make new friends online by playing games they provide. Finally, we can leverage computer games to improve the quality of education. Some famous online learning systems, which are extensively applied among high schools, are deliberately designed to be game-like in order to motivate students to work much harder by introducing subsystems from games such as experence bar and level-up system.

(For the 'finally' part, it is easier to talk something about contribution to the prosperity of Internet industry. But I would like to challenge myself by talking something difficult. I do not know if I made my point clear enough. The idea basically came from a talk: talks/seth_priebatsch_the_game_layer_on_top_of_the_world )

In conclusion, I think vedio games should not be banned at school due to several benefits that they can offer.

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focus on grammars, guys!
OP StarSea 4 / 10  
May 15, 2014   #2
well, it has already become a popular topic :)

lol, I played a lot, that's why i support the positives ^_^

Well, you support the view that video games have more benefits for kids than negatives. So, it is better you defend this position in your body paras. In the above para you talk about the other side which really does not help you defend your position on the issue.

thank you for the advice dumi. Actually, I am afraid it is much harder to organize only one side (positives or negatives) because of the time constraint. It is much easier to write a both side structure within a pice of very limited time.

Body para1: On the one hand, + topic sentence. Firstly... Secondly... Finally... (three points about positive views)
Body para2: On the other hand, + topic sentence. Firstly...Secondly...Finally...(three points about negative views)

It is very difficult to give 6 negative views at the same time.

The problem is that in which way we should write the introduction para, the conclusion para and topic sentences to rationalize the above structure even if the question asked clearly about "what is your opinion?" Could you give me some advices plz. I really need help here !
MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
May 16, 2014   #3
In conclusion, I think vedio games should not be banned at school due to several benefits that they can offer.

Your conclusion is not aligned with the rest of your essay where you didn't state anything related to schools banning video games. Also, it is not mentioned in the given topic.
OP StarSea 4 / 10  
May 29, 2014   #4
Hope this video would help you with structuring your essay;

those vedios are great! Thank you, Pahan.
BTW, are you the teacher in those vedios? :)


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