QUESTION: Video records are a better way to learn about the way other people in the world live rather than written documents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people are of the opinion that video platforms provide a greater means to impart knowledge on how people live in many places than texts. From my point of view, although I agree that videos can create a more engaging learning experience, I believe written documents could compensate for certain setbacks of their counterparts.
On the one hand, learners could become more engaged in their areas of interest by the use of video materials. This is because videos offer viewers both visual and auditory inputs rather than solely abstract ideas delivered via texts. These stimulants not only describe the objects in the most authentic way but also make it easier for learners to visualise and retain information. For example, a video about a local festival would be far more effective than a written dissertation on the said subject in a sense that the former provides viewers with information about the music, the costumes, or the customs in a readily-acceptable fashion.
On the other hand, written records could emerge as a more convenient source in certain cases. Firstly, documents could save more time when learners need to conduct research on complex subjects. For instance, the economic developments of a country could better be encapsulated in a written analysis, since it deals with various abstract concepts. Researchers, in this case, would find it easier to read and use this later for reference. Secondly, videos are not always available due to their huge production effort. Obviously, when compared to this hard work, written records require much less, thus become more easily accessible.
In conclusion, videos could better enhance the learning experience as it helps visualising what life is in its nature. However, written documents make a better choice when it comes to complex and costly areas of studies.
Your comment is very much appreciated.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,801 
4780 This is an extent essay so an emotional response is required or a reference to an unmeasured (dis)agreement. It is not enough to say "although I..." because it does not indicate the reponse format as indicated by the writing instruction. The format would have been more task adherent had to you responded with "I do not fully agree with the statement because there comes a point where written text is needed to fill in certain information." The phrase "do not fully agree" is the response to question "To what extent?" The measure is there. You are not in full agreement. Proper response formatting will help increase the task accuracy score. Ensure that the correct reference and keywords are used in that section.
While the response paragraphs are correct in number, the basis for the explanations are not all valid for scoring. The examiner will only award points to the discussion that supports your opinion. This will be seen as response that lacks correct opinion support. How do you accomplish that?
Remember that you said you are not in full agreement? Well, when you discuss the explanation, use the reasons that you feel you can successfully prove as faulty. The format will be:
Sentence 1: Positive reason for videos
Sentence 2: Basis for positive reaction from the public
Sentence 3: Oppose that opinion by showing its limitation
Sentence 4: Explain your opposition
Sentence 5: Give an example to support your opinion
By doing so, you will show why you are not in full agreement with the public belief. It is a case of not saying the other side is wrong, just that their belief has loopholes that can show the faults in their opinion. This is one prompt that requires a debate response format.
Your work is actually acceptable and will receive scoring points. It just won't be full scoring points because of the aforementioned reasons. This is not a bad first try. I can see your potential to score well in all aspects of writing. Your thoughts are clear and well reasoned. You just need to focus on further improving those skills and learning the correct response formats.
