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Viet Nam traffic


halongphutu 1 / 1  
Dec 16, 2009   #1
Viet Nam is a developing country. We have to face with many problems; one of which is traffic. Accident transport and the congestion of traffic are becoming serious day by day

Traffic accidents in Vietnam have been increasing at the alarming growth rate in the recent years. In 2008, there are more than 10.000 dead. The number dead from traffic accidents is much more than the number dead of cancer. The main reason is poor awareness of traffic participants such as driving after drinking wine, not wearing helmets ,weaving back and forth or conducting motorbike races on the road. In order to reduce the number of traffic accidents, we should seriously punish traffic violators, encourage people to obey traffic rules and limit the speed in all road. And we have to do it immediate.

Traffic jam in rush hour is becoming an alarming problem in the big cities such as Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh. It takes poeple many hours to go only some kilometers. There are many reasons for this problem. First reason is the fast increase of vehicles but the land area for traffic does not increase. Poor awareness of people is cause traffic jam, too. Everyone tries to find their own way. Last reason, the project of digging up road causes serious traffic jams. To reduce the problems the government have to develop the network of public transport such as metros, trams. It will decrease the number of vehicles. And we must increase land area devoted to traffic and divide lanes for cars, motorbikes and bicycles.

Traffic is always a very difficult problem and we need a lot of time to solve it. However, i trust that every problem will be able to solve if it have got the support of all people

Help me fixe errors. Thank you

melb 2 / 10  
Dec 16, 2009   #2
We have to face with many problems; one of which is traffic.
This sentence doesn't make sense. It should be We have to face many problems, or We are faced with many problems or even We face many problems. I prefer the last sentence it is concise, present tense, and active.

Also, I didn't understand what you meant by accident transport in the next sentence. Do you mean there's an ambualance shortage? or do you mean that there are more accidents. I don't understand what accident transport means.
OP halongphutu 1 / 1  
Dec 16, 2009   #3
I think it is traffic accidents. It's my mistake. Thank for answers
greentea93 7 / 31  
Dec 18, 2009   #4
Hi,
I think your organization is not clear. That's why there's some repititions. About the organization I personally think there should be:introduction paragraph, problem paragraph, solution paragraph, some specific examples if possible( yours is very good). and conclusion paragraph.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,334 129  
Dec 18, 2009   #5
Viet Nam is a developing country. We have to face with many problems; one of which is traffic. Accident transport and the congestion of traffic are becoming serious day by day

The first sentence is a "statement of the obvious", so you should say something more clever. The 2nd sentence has a semi-colon when it should have a comma. The third sentence has no period and is missing a few words:

Problems associated with transport and congestion of traffic are becoming more serious day by day.

:-)
viettran92 4 / 8  
Dec 18, 2009   #6
I have been to VN too so i can see your picture pretty clear. But a new image isn't enough, you need more details and concrete examples. Btw, you also need to pay more attention on concision in your writing.
Kellyli 2 / 2  
Dec 29, 2009   #7
"In order to reduce the number of traffic accidents, we should seriously punish traffic violators, encourage people to obey traffic rules and limit the speed in all road. And we have to do it immediate."

I think there should be a Conjunction between violators and encourage. You shouldn't use "And" to start a sentence.


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