Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children.
To what extent do you agree?
Owing to the huge media coverage of celebrities, there is a view that it has negative influence on teenagers. This essay will explain why I believe this statement is only true to a certain extent as such coverage does present some positives for children.
To begin with, a number of media channels broadcast and write about celebrity sightings which has indirectly lead to a fashion following culture. This is a problem because children being impressionable get attracted to such branded clothes and exotic dressing-sense to an extent that they want to copy it. It has been found several times that children demand their parents to buy matching dresses and branded shoes as they saw in clips on the news media. Consequently, it has now come to a point that children compete and argue with each other in an attempt to look superior by copying a celebrity. Conversely, if such pictures or videos were not broadcasted, children would have been happy with what they had.
However, I believe such news coverage of celebs does bring some positives, most important of which is following their idol. In other words, teenagers envy celebrities as their role-model and are highly influenced by them. As a good example, numerous media outlets publish about successful entrepreneur celebrities giving guidance on how to become successful like them. Another instance can be celebs teaching that everyone should respect older people. Such coverage provides a highly positive influence on youngsters to work hard and respect their elders. Evidently, it is a positive for individuals and society as a whole.
In brief, although reporting about celebrities by media present negatives in terms of blind fashion following by teenagers, I believe, it does hold the power to influence children positively to work-hard and respect elders.
I dont know if this kind of essay requires personal perspective or not but adding your opinion at the end of the essay i think it may help like : how celebrities affect you, and your responses to that.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 11,585 3757
The positives of the celebrity influence on children is not the point of this discussion. The only topic that should be reflected in your discussion is the degree of your agreement or disagreement with the given statement. That means, you must offer the measurement of your response to the given statement. You did not do that in this essay. Rather than a single opinion extent essay, you presented a comparative essay which does not clearly offer an opinion on your part in the manner required. This essay is improperly formatted and not responsive to the task. You must indicate the strength of your opinion using emotional response such as strong, in maximum dis/agreement, vehemently opposed, or other similar descriptive phrases. Then, focus the discussion on 2 reasons that will strongly strengthen your opinion in the discussion paragraphs.
Hi Holt, Thank you for review.
I would like to argue that to what extent essays are more like you agree, you disagree or you have partial opinion.
With that being said, I gave first para to support agreement and latter one for disagreement, evidently, it is partial agree essay.
The context of positive and negative is to present a point that agrees with my claim
Please correct me if I am wrong.
As much as I would hate to comment but I believe your argument is correct to an extent. You do need to however improve your opinion is the summary to include important aspects mentioned in the paragraph.