In the past most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were advantages and disadvantages of living in small community?
Most people live in enermous town where they rarely know people around their houses. In contrast to earlier times, most people occupied in small community where everybody knew everbody else. This informs that, there is benefit and drawback of living in the minor village.
Starting with the benefit, people in the village have a high sense of kinship. Living in the village canses our feeling become comfortable because the residents are very friendly. For example, they care and help each other even though they have less money. As a result, the people and families do any activities together. Therefore, person who lived in small community tends to rely on each other and cannot be independent in one place.
Depsite that, there is also disadvantage of living in the village, sometimes citizens look like someone who have not evolved. They do not understand other cultures and technology advances. Taking an example, if there are new comer, the community usually assumes they are foreigners. As a result, they view that new comer should be suspected. Therefore, the villagers still have fanatic belief and less developed.
Living in small community has advantage like they can do what they want and cultivate the relationship that together we are family. On the other hand, there is also disadvantage such as they were difficult to accept novelty that came from outside their community even it was a good one for them. Where possible, to raise the quality of life people who living in the village, so then are needed developing of education.
Hi Rahmi, here's another take on your essay.
- Most people live in
In contrastOn the contrary ( contrast - for color / contrary - for idea ) to earlier times,
- most people who occupied
- there is a benefit and
- drawback of living in
the minorsmaller villages .
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- Living in the village
canses ourcreates a
anya lot of activities together.
- Therefore,a person
- who lived in a small community
cannot beare not independent
in oneonce they move to other places .
There you have it Rahmi,I hope the above corrections are helpful in your revision. Overall, I must say that what you need to focus on is the construction of your ideas, the minor changes are mainly in your missing links, missing words that could've been part a the essay or the sentence itself. The sentences makes up the entire essay and I know that you know this very well, however, sometimes we tend to miss a few links that is very crucial to complete your sentences.