More and more village workers are not deciding to live in the city and travel in to country and travel into the work every day. The result is increased traffic congestion and damage to the environment. What measures do you think could be taken to encourage people not to travel such long distances into work?
It is certainly true that a tremendous number of workers numbers of people is escaping from countryside to urban areas in search of employment. On the other hand some workers prefer to travel on long distances day in and day out to reach at work. This massive transition on daily basis has created enormous problems such as overcrowding and environmental issues. I think, in order to overcome these, and following steps should be taken;
Firstly, government should encourage public sector companies to expand the business in rural areas. Take charity firms for instance, in my country there are thousands of these organizations, who are currently running to raise funds for homeless and vulnerable people residing outside the country. If the government support these firms by providing sponsorships and funds to open up new branches in countryside, then consequently more jobs would be created and so these employees do not have to travel to country as they would find more job opportunities in the countryside. This would eventually reduce the traffic outflow towards urban areas.
Another important way to curtail the traffic congestion on roads is to encourage employees to do work from home. With the rampant science and technology, employees could easily connect with office system and desktop through internet and video conferencing. This would lead to less traffic congestion and journey times would also be reduced. Furthermore, government should build up convenient transport system that would have several connections to rural areas. This would facilities rural workers to easily commute to their work by using public transport despite their own private cars. As a result, overall there will be less number of vehicles on roads, and could less likely impact on environment.
Nevertheless, many giant franchises and companies can open up branches, which would prevent people to move from their own cities. For instance, food chain such as Mc donalds and KFC restaurants could extend their business network to rural areas. This would not only lead to increase in job opportunities but would enable to get more sources of entertainment and food even in their own cities. Also, by expanding businesses in these areas would hinder them to move to the overcrowded urban areas.
All in all, I think the government plays a vital role in controlling the workers flow towards country by creating more job opportunities in rural areas. Also, multinational companies can also work on expanding their businesses in village areas. In addition to that, motivating employees to perform part time work from home could also reduce the traffic problems and eventually secure the environment from pollution.
The structure of this essy is clear, and we can get point quichkly. I am not professional in writing, but the words you used in the essy maybe too simple.
"a tremendous number of workers numbers of people is escaping from countryside to urban areas" --> a tremendous number of workers are leaving countryside to urban areas
"This massive transition on daily basis" --> this phrase seems not to have a clear meaning
"I think, in order to overcome these, and following steps should be taken" --> i think the following steps should be taken to solve or at least relieve these problems
One important thing is that you should add your " following steps" to the first paragraph to guide the readers
"Take charity firms for instance, in my country there are thousands of these organizations, who" --> taking charity organizations for instance, in my country, there are thousands of these, which ...
"travel to country" --> travel to big cities
"This would facilities" --> this would facilitate
"overall there will be less number of vehicles on roads, and could less likely impact on environment" --> There will be less vehicles on roads, and less adverse impacts on the environment
"prevent people to move" ---> prevent people from moving
"This would not only lead to increase in job opportunities but would enable to get more"
---> This would not only lead to an increase in job opportunities but also enable people to get more
"Also, by expanding businesses in these areas would hinder them to move" --> In addition, expanding business in these areas would hinder them from moving
I think the way you show your idea in the fourth paragraph is not suitable
Finally, your writing just focus on alleviating traffic congestion and nearly forget environmental issue. Just give more details about how your suggestions help relieve environmental problems.
