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A villain who turned out to be a hero ----------- Short Story Writing


tahseen 1 / -  
Nov 27, 2016   #1
I am given a homework assignment on the following question.
Write a story of around 400 words on "A villain who turned out to be a hero".
Objectives to fulfill:
- adapt forms and types of writing for specific purposes and audiences using
appropriate styles.
- Write clearly, using a range of vocabulary and sentence structures, with
accurate spelling, paragraphing, grammar and punctuation.


It was another frosty Friday at the Brook street. I stared out through the clouded window, eagerly waiting for my friends' arrival when something stupefyingly strange occurred. The local senior grocer, Mr. Bill- also known as silly Billy- shrieked: "Catch that imp! He robbed all the bread from my store!" I found this to be a chance of breaking the shackles and unveil the adventurous and courageous version of mine. "I am on it Billy," I ecstatically replied. I followed the rustic thief to someplace where a lonely house stood, deserted. It was a medieval cottage which could hardly fit four people. I chased him and grasped his transgressed hand. This time he ambled, probably he knew he was being chased by me. I interrogated him, with my heart was beating like a thunder every time I spoke a word: "How could you do such an act? How could you be so selfish?" The man replied, "You are quite brave to have followed me this far, I must acknowledge..." "... but you see, I am not the person that you think I am," he replied with a heart full of regret. I could smell the shame in him as he spoke those words. My pulse came back to normal. "It is a dire need that led me to such horrendous act. You might have many words to characterize me: a villain, a thief, a criminal or a treacherous person; and you might be right." "Yes, you are a villain to all of us," I declared. He remained silent and led me to his home. To my bewilderment, there was nothing but three children and their mother inside, wrapped around blankets which looked old as if they prevailed for numerous millennia. As soon as they saw the man return with a handful of goods, they jumped up and down in excitement. "We are going to have bread after so long!" one of the children silently screamed. "I love you daddy!" the others said. "You are our hero!" the wife announced. At that exact moment, I had a change of heart. However, I came back to my senses soon and inquired, "what about silly Billy and his family?" They all looked around at each other silently, hiding the food behind themselves. My heart melted. I helped him in however way possible to pay for the stolen goods. I also informed him about a job vacancy in my father's office so that he could afford his family's needs and become a sole breadwinner for the family. he could be a criminal in the society's eyes but to his family, he is the hero.
kaun 2 / 5  
Nov 28, 2016   #2
Hi @tahseen, your essay is understandable, and grammar is really good.

However, Bellow is some mistakes I think you should recheck.
- As soon as they saw the man returned with a handful ...
- thunder is a uncountable noun, cannot use "a."
- wrapped aroundin blankets
- ...for numerous millennia - "many" may better combine with millennia than "numerous"
- ..for the family. H e could be a criminal in the society's eyes, but to his ...


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