I am studying for the MCAT (Medical College Admission Test), and I need help with improving my writing style. Please give me any suggestions on how can I get a higher score on the essay portion. One of the essays I have written so far is below.
Thank you, and I greatly appreciate your efforts.
In a political crisis, an unwarranted display of force is often the first reaction in trying to reach a solution, much as a tantrum is the first reaction when a child fails to get his way. However, if anything is to be resolved, aggression in itself is not the favorable solution. While violence may have an immediate effect on a crisis, it does not solve the entirety of the crisis. It may briefly gain control over the situation, but the roots are still there and may begin again once the violence has passed. For instance, a war crisis may be resolve by sending troops to the respective country. Once bombarded, the respective attackers will cease, only until new equipment is built in order to ignite once again. Thus, violence as a first hand attach was not the solution to the situation.
Certainly there are situations where violence seems justified. Terrorists' acts of violence must sometimes be curtailed with brutality when negotiations have failed. Similar attitude is approached in defense from offensive military maneuvers. However, violence in and by itself is not a full solution. For example, the bombing in Hiroshima was views by some as the only solution to a long and blood war. Yet this act of destructiveness in a violent political crisis has left drastic scars on all of humanity. It further pushed the world to develop nuclear weapons which has led to deeper political situations - some too dangerous to the planet to be resolved by brutality.
Still violence in itself is not a real solution to a political crisis, but it can be an effective step in reaching a resolution. On that alone, one can say that it is justifiable. Nonetheless, violence in itself can lead to a bigger conflict. Even though, violence can play a vital part toward achieving a real obduracy of hostilities.