Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Visiting a market - Writing, English learner - B1/B2 level


ediz1 1 / -  
Feb 7, 2016   #1
I have been in some very strange and interesting places. The best place I have ever been to is Dortmund Christmas Market. It can be found in the heart of the Hansa Square, in Dortmund (Germany). The market is over 100 years old. It opens every year in late November and closes just after Christmas.

My experience was so special because Dortmund Christmas Market is the most visited Christmas market in Germany with more than 3,5 million visitors of 300 stalls around a gigantic Christmas tree creation that stands 45 metres tall. When I was there, there were a lot of people that were buying a variety of Christmas gifts. People come from all over the world to visit this market because they know there is no other place like it.

This market offers a feast for the senses! Beautifully decorated stalls offer handicrafts and gifts, festive baked treats, "gl├╝hwein", all mixed with the mouth-watering fragrance of delicious regional specialities. All the while, choirs and brass-bands provide festive musical accompaniment.

It was an experience I would never forget. If you are ever in Dortmund during Advent, you should definitely visit the Christmas market. It's a unique experience.

Please correct my essay. I think I have made mistakes. Also, please send me tips on vocabulary.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Feb 7, 2016   #2
Ediz, as much as possible, do not use exclamation points when you are writing a descriptive essay. It should flow calmly and be enjoyable to read. Specially when you are describing a Christmas event. Next, always aim to create a tight description of the location. Avoid redundancies at all costs because that shows a lack of writing skill. My correction to the way you indicated the place where the market is will show you an example of how to tighten the sentence and avoid repetitiveness as well.

Your vocabulary is simple and enjoyable at this point. I would not fault you for any errors that you made since you are an English learner after all. As to how you can better improve your vocabulary, try to read more English based comics, books, and news articles. Keep your notepad handy and always list down the words that you are unfamiliar with. Be sure to look it up in the dictionary in reference to the meaning.

Now for the corrections to your essay.

I have been in TO some very ... The best place I have ever been to is Dortmund Christmas Market. It can be found in the heart of the Hansa Square, in Dortmund (Germany) GERMANY. The market is over 100 years old. It AND opens every year ...

... 3,5 million visitors of 300 stalls SITUATED around a gigantic Christmas tree creation that stands 45 metres tall. When I was there, there were a lot of people that were buying a variety of Christmas gifts. ..

... a feast for the senses! . ... delicious regional specialities SPECIALTIES. ..

It was an experience I would WILL never forget. ...


Home / Writing Feedback / Visiting a market - Writing, English learner - B1/B2 level