This is an IELTS essay in Cambridge 6 Test 3 Writing task 2
HERE ARE the instructions.
Write about the following topic:
Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behavior. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
As a result of the rapid development of transportation industry, the world has become much smaller than before, making it much easier for us to visit other countries. Meanwhile, a problem came into being during the process, which arouse a worldwide debate on how the visitors and the host countries should deal with the cultural differences.
Some people claim that the visitors should follow local customs and behavior, by arguing that, as visitors to other countries, what we should do is to visit, to experience and to learn about the various colorful exotic culture, definitely not to change them. Imagine what will happen if every visitor brings in his own custom? Needless to say, soon you will no longer be able to taste the original culture of this region.
On the other hand, there are people holding the opposite view that the host countries should welcome cultural differences. As the globalization is inevitably happening all around the world, which undoubtedly includes the assimilation of culture, it's not too much to say almost no country can resist this global trend, for that is the direction of the history's wheel. Such being the case, why don't they open their door and welcome all "cultural guests"?
Personally, I feel that globalization in all aspects will surely become reality in the long term. But now I do think this issue should be judged by whether the collisions are just some simple cultural differences or have offended the principles or religious dogmas. For example, as is familiar to everyone, for religious reasons it is fairly difficult for the Muslim to embrace any cultural differences, regardless of they are visitors or the host.
In conclusion, I agree if it's not an issue with regard to principles or religious belief, both ways are acceptable and on no ground should be blamed.
Any critical suggestions are welcomed and i'd very grateful.
And if you can, please try to give me a score according to the IELTS standard.
By the way, i don't know if it's appropriate to take the Muslim for example, i mean, it's about religion. would it be too sensitive to talk about? or the examiner is Muslim....
Thank you all in advance.
The easiest way to write a conclusion for the IELTS essay is to follow this formula:
Start with a conclusion phrase
Repeat the main ideas from your essay - although try to use different words if possible
State your opinion
I think you should follow this formula to write conclusion , and try to make conclusion to be a paragraph .
You should not use too much personal pronoun
Personally, I feel that globalization in all aspects will surely become reality in the long term >> Otherwise , it is clear that globalization in all aspects will surely to become reality in the long term .
I think you should re-write introduction paragraph
As a result of the rapid development of transportation industry ( with globalization) , the world has become much smaller than before, making it much easier for us to visit other countries
Keep going , this is some my opinions .
Some people claim that the visitors should follow local customs and behavior, by arguing that
, as visitors to other countries, what we should do is to visit, to experience and to learn about the various colorful exotic culture, definitely not to change themit is the best way for the visitors to enjoy and experience the other cultures and not to impose any threat for changing those cultures.------------------- When you write very lengthy sentences, you tend to loose track.
You write very well and surely go for a very good score at IELTS.