Hi Richardsu,
this is a well developed and informative essay. I just spotted some minor lapses, which I will show in the following. The only problem is, you didn't really answer the question. You have shown the pros and cons of plastic surgery but you didn't state whether or not plastic surgery should be banned. This is significant and shouldn't be overlooked because they will probably give you lower scores if you don't answer the question. No matter how nicely written you essay is - so make sure to really answer the question!
Here is what I've found:
most plastic surgeries are not cosmetic surgeries. It also includes reconstructive surgery for example, reconstruction for cleft lip
You are referring to "cosmetic surgeries" which is plural, so you have to use "they" instead of "it" in the next sentence.
The heart person of love of beauty all has it.
I really don't understand this sentence. Maybe you have to rephrase it or use other words but this really doesn't make any sense.
Nowadays more and more normal person accept cosmetic surgery voluntarily toward aesthetic ideal.
Use "people" instead of "normal person". First of all, more and more indicates plural and the "normal" is ambigious. There is an "s" missing in "towards". Also: "the aesthetic ideal"!
Surgery of double eyelid, tummy tuck, liposuction, boob job, nose lift are popular. And even some person will accept surgery of changing the shape of face, length of leg by operation on the bones.
In listings, always use "and" or "or" before the last, e.g. "boob job AND nose lift" and "the shape of face OR length of leg". In addition, you have to use "people" as plural for "person" and "surgery TO change the shape of face".
Most of them can achieve the satisfaction, delight and regain their self confidence from the operation changing the appearance.
I would omit the "can" and definitely the "the" before "satisfaction". Also "changing THEIR appearance."
Therefore cosmetic surgery is not only medical techniques toward physical problem but also for psychological problem.
"Therefore cosmetic surgery is not only A medical technique towardS physical problemS but also for psychological problemS." It's better to use the plural here.
Some person are preoccupied with what they regard as defects in their faces and bodies.
Again, the plural for person is people!
They suffer from psychological disorder which cosmetic surgery can not cure or even will make it worse.
"or will even make worse" - wrong sentence structure here.
Like many others, the pros and cons of it depends on how we use it.
The "s" is only added to a verb in the 3rd person singular. Pros and cons are plural, so you have to use "depend" instead of "depends".
Hope that helps,
RedFire
