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voluntary work - helping poor elderly people or newly arrived pupil


shing200584 10 / 1  
Mar 13, 2008   #1
Hello again,

This is my eighth practice. Please give me feedback. Thanks in advance.

Questions:
Your school has decided to take part in a voluntary work project in one of two major areas: helping EITHER poor elderly people OR primary schoolchildren newly arrived from the mainland. Your class teacher is collecting opinions from the class in the form of essays written by students.

Write your own essay, outlining your personal preference and stating at least three reasons to support your choice. Give your essay a title.

We Can Provide More and Learn More - I Prefer Poor Elderly People

Poor elderly people and primary schoolchildren newly arrived from mainland both deserve to be helped. But when it comes to be a must to choose one of the two areas to be our voluntary works, I would consider which one needs our help more, which it is more viable for us to help, and from which we can learn more. After comparing them by the above criteria, I would like to say 'poor elderly people' would be a better choice.

Firstly of all, poor elderly people need our help more. Rarely are the poor elderly having people to visit. Although the government would sometimes send volunteers and members of social security staff to visit their home, they are still getting not enough help, from cleaning their flat to just talking with them. It is because they often have few relatives and are difficult to do those for themselves. In the contrary, primary schoolchildren newly arrived are having various ways to be helped. For example, they often have their parents or other relatives who can help them. Also, their schools should already have enough resources such as teachers, counselors, and special classes to help them to adapt the new environment.

Moreover, it is more viable for us to help the poor elderly. Helping the poor elderly needs labor forces and talks. We can visit the home of the elderly, give them a talk or use our hands to do something they are physically difficult to do. It will only spend us several hours and may use us some energy, to which we can afford. However, if we choose the children to be our voluntary works, we need to spend more time, because adaptation problems cannot be solved in a single or even several voluntary works, provided that if we cannot help them in this way, I think we have few reasons to target them to help. For that we are already Form 7 students who need to take part in A-level examinations several months later, I would say that I cannot afford a continued voluntary work project at the moment.

Furthermore, we can learn more from the poor elderly people. I admit that we can learn how to teach children from the voluntary works of helping the newly arrived children. However, if we choose the another choice, we could gain more from the experience. Firstly, we can learn how to break the gap of ages. For a youngster, one of the most serious problems they would face is how to communicate with their parents. I think the voluntary works could give them some cues for that. Secondly, we would learn how a poor life would be. Many of my classmates waste money for their new iPot nanos or PSPs, which are often unnecessary. They think that a comfortable or even luxurious life could be taken for granted. I think that after visiting the poor elderly, they would change their mind. Finally, students may study harder for not falling below the poverty line after seeing the poor and lonely states of life.

To bring this essay to a close, I would strongly recommend our school to choose 'poor elderly people' to be the area of the voluntary work project, because it is more suitable for a student to take part in.
EF_Team2 1 / 1,708  
Mar 14, 2008   #2
Greetings!

You've written a good essay! Here are some editing tips:

But when it comes to choosing one of the two areas to be our voluntary works, I would consider which one needs our help more, which it is more viable for us to help, and from which we can learn more.

Rarely do the poor elderly have visitors.

It is because they often have few relatives and have difficulty doing those things for themselves.

Helping the poor elderly needs labor forces and talks.- This does not really make sense.

use our hands to do something they are physically unable to do.

It will only take us several hours and may use up some of our energy, which we can afford.

Because we are already Form 7 students

However, if we make the other choice, we could gain more from the experience.

Firstly, we can learn how to bridge the generation gap

Good work!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com


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