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IELTS Task 2 - Walking is known to be beneficial for health but not many people are walking today


adrian21 15 / 17 3  
Apr 3, 2016   #1
Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days.
What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem?


Today, a smaller number of people people want to walk to reach their destination, though walking provides advantages for health. This phenomena happens because of some reasons, make people to choose facility transport rather than walking. This problem can be solved by using some possible solutions.

In this modern era, with the assistance of technology, most people prefer to use a vehicle as their transportation instead of walking. This is because it saves more energy and time, practical and ease access are the most wanted things for every individuals to select their transportation. The existence of car, for instance, makes 20 km possible to be reached in only 20 minutes, much faster than walking, and it is also much convenient to go somewhere by using a car. Cars become favourite transportation for drivers. Therefore, the presence of transport facilities in human's life affects fewer individuals to walk.

However, a great number of transport facilities give negative impact, new problem, on environment. Some actions have to be taken to handle the excess number of vehicle. It is important to keep our environment safe in order to have a healthy life. For example, in Japan, the number of vehicles are limited by their government, even the citizen must pay a large tax for every private transport they have. As a return, government of Japan provides several great public transport facilities for their citizen. As a result, the environment in Japan is safer. The level of walking people also increased, resulting in a healthier life. Consequently, alternatives should be considered to limit the number of transportation.

To sum up, a decrease in the number of walking people occurs because of several reasons and some acts should be taken to solve this. Individuals must realize the impacts given by their vehicle. Government also need to create a policy to control the transport facility of their civilian.

Ester Napitupulu 18 / 25 3  
Apr 3, 2016   #2
Hi Adrian,

Today, a smaller number of people peoplewantchoose to walk to reachget their destination, though walking ...
... make people to choose facility transport facilities rather than walking.

And I think your introduction is still not clear. :)
bastian20 10 / 16 2  
Apr 7, 2016   #3
Hello Adrian, actually, you wrote this writing IELTS task 1 quite good. You use one idea brainstorming in order to develop your paragraph. On the other hand, there are some grammatical errors that you have done particularly in introduction paragraph. Henceforth, it can reduce your band score. Let me give you some suggestions in order to correct your grammatical errors. I hope these suggestions can be useful for increasing your writing skill. Good Luck.

a smaller number of people people want to walk to reach their destination

I reckon that this sentence is type error since there are two repetitive words. Even though it is human error, you should concern about it. Moreover in real test IELTS.

This phenomena happens because

you should use Phenomenon, because phenomena is plural.

facility transport

transport facilities

a great number of transport facilities give negative impact

gives


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