In modern life, people invented some new social requirements for continuing life. However, some of these have big bad results for children. Television plays very important role in children lives, and it is also main source of entertainment for them but it is so dangerous for them. Watching TV by children causes some cases which is personal life, inadequate education and poor relation.
The first case is personal life. It is well-known fact that when children focus on screen they save all the details their mind. Sometimes they try to show many attractions in their lives. In this case, they do not realize real life because children's eyes and brain move abnormally. For instance, a few years ago a child thinks that I am a super hero like "Pikachu" who is a Bucky and the child tries to fly like it but the child died. So, parents should be careful for their children.
The second maybe the most complaining point is inadequate education. Education only does not depend on teachers' ability, but also whole family individuals should take responsibility as children tend to watch TV more times. As a result of this situation, children do not do homework and do not study lessons because of no time. Also, they usually see low exams score according to the exam results.
The last subject is poor relation. Relationship between family members is losing day by day. As you know that every night members of family watch TV opposite the television and all of them focus on it. In addition, anyone converse each other. As it is seen, watching TV more time affects negatively not only on children but also whole family members.
In the light of the information given above, in developing world children need to protect negative things which manage children's memory. Thus, father and mother should have responsibility. Especially, they must warn their children and parents should submit a proposal to watch TV about 1 to 2 hours in a day for children.
(333 words)
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In modern life, people invented some new social requirements for continuing life. However, some of these havebig bad results for children.
.... these are a bit out of topic sentences. They do not contribute to introduce your topic to the reader in a comprehensible manner. Avoid writing such sentences. Take help from the prompt and introduce your topic more direct.
now, Do I just have one mistake? Are there any mistakes in my essay?
The essay is
full of awkward phrasings and grammar errors.
I implore you to either hire a competent tutor or, at the very least, buy an English grammar book.
Students usually need to work on content first, grammar second. You're a rare exception.
