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Water Canary is Easily Future Devices


yurikeyuri 43 / 61 2  
Nov 29, 2016   #1
The cholera is one of disease that is caused by water contaminated. The previous device to test water contaminated has many disadvantages, like after it changes, the picture of condition on the ground will be obtained and for implementation need very expensive cost. The alternative device is water canary with many advantages like it is fast because use light for the chemical reaction to take place, also it is cheap device because no need to use reagents that can run out, and finally it no need expert person to get actionable information about water contaminated. The working step to test water is inserted a water sample and within second, the device will display either the light which the red light indicate the contaminated water or the green light that indicate safety sample. Everyone can collect life-saving information and can monitor water quality condition. This device integrates with wireless networking by GPS and GSM which can read automatically transmitted to servers to be mapped in real time, so this way can prevent the contaminated water before it becomes emergencies

Source : TED

Dioba 68 / 104 7  
Nov 29, 2016   #2
Hi, there are several mistake i found in your summary.
1,The cholera is one of diseasediseases(plural/singular issues) that is caused ...
2. ... with many advantages like it issuch as fast because use (...) can run out, and finally it do not need an expert person to get actionable information ...

3. like after it changes ---> The change refer to? device?
Keep writing Yuri.
Bams17 28 / 43  
Nov 29, 2016   #3
The cholera is one of diseasediseases ( plural singular issue, on of always followed by plural) that is caused by water contaminated.

The previous device to test water contaminated has many disadvantages

I think that this is little confusing sentence did you mean a result of previous test shows that many disadvantages....

like"such as" you can use this word if you want mention many kinds of objects/noun/steps etc after it changes, ...
IvanMS027 43 / 56 9  
Nov 29, 2016   #4
Hi. Here are my suggestions towards your essay.

The cholera is one of disease that is caused ...

if you want to tell the water which is contaminated, you can try to use "contaminated water rather than water contaminated."

The previous device to test water contaminated ...

The device to test contaminated water or the device to test the water containing harmful materials.

disadvantages, like after ...

"like" is not conjunctions.

for implementation need very expensive cost.

Prepositional phrase is not able to be the subject of sentence.

because use light for the chemical reaction to take place, also it is cheap ...

where is your subject here?

when you are using the conjunctions, make sure that (the number of conjunctions = the number of sentence +1)

light which the red light indicate the contaminated water

You cannot use this adverbial clause here. try to use Noun Clause.

I hope it can be useful for you.
Goodluck and Keep Spirited.


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