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ielts essay : water should be always free. governments should ban bottled water.


beula 3 / 10 1  
Oct 27, 2013   #1
question :water is a natural resource which should be always free. governments should ban the sale of bottled water. at what extent do you agree or disagree

ans:
People, all over the world, hunger for a clean safe water since our ecosystem including lakes and rivers is polluted and damaged in a diverse ways.

As such, water, which is a natural resource that should be free in fact, has nowadays become a popular means of commodity. Although it is a basic right for human beings to have free access of water, In my opinion, I do not think it is necessary for governments should ban this practice for the following reasons.

There are people who prefer bottled water over tap water. They may believe that bottled water tastes better than the ordinary one. And also, they might feel healthier when drinking germ-free bottled water, despite the fact that there is hardly any difference between bottled and tap water in terms of quality. Therefore, governments cannot ban this production as long as people, both in developing and developed nations could afford and have a particular choice over this bottled water.

likewise, governments themselves benefitted through this system. Numerous private water companies have been mushrooming than ever before, since many governments do not have enough fund to provide clean and safe water to its civilians. However, it is possible for governments to utilize the money, which has come through taxation on these industries, in a positive way. For example, it can be used for public services like road, health and education system. Therefore, it might be a huge loss for them if they decide to ban this business.

In summary, I would like to argue that governments might not be able to ban bottled water sale, since it is people's choice whether to drink tap water or bottled water. Moreover, there is no need for a government to ban this practice when it itself benefitting through this business.
gabbie 9 / 19 3  
Oct 27, 2013   #2
a clean safe water

water is uncountable noun

a diverse ways.

I do not think it is necessary for governments should ban this practice for the following reasons.

as i remember, in academic writing they usually say "I think it is not necessary for governments to ban this practice" .

prefer bottled water over tap water

prefer A to B

civilians

-> a person who is not a member of armed force of police
replace with citizen is more suitable
ieltsp 6 / 12 5  
Oct 27, 2013   #3
Hi Beula

Your essay has good ideas. But you're trying to cramp too much information in a single sentence
e.g People, all over the world, hunger for a clean safe water since our ecosystem including lakes and rivers is polluted and damaged in a diverse ways.

Re-written as:All over the world, people are need of fresh water for daily activities. However the source of this is being polluted and damaged in many ways

Try to write simple sentences instead of complex. The more simpler the sentence, less the number of mistakes.
gmad06 20 / 151 55  
Oct 27, 2013   #4
hi,
I noticed several grammatical errors which made your sentences misleading. try to review your work
by paragraphs to avoid these mistakes.

Nowadays, water has become a popular commodity all over the world. Many opt for bottled water as most of the other sources in the ecosystem have been polluted and contaminated. Although mankind has the right to have free access to water, I strongly disagree to the debarment of selling sanitized bottled waters.

hope this helps...


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