Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

IELTS task 1- water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries


JennyPham 2 / 1  
Feb 7, 2014   #1
the graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

Please check my essay and correct it for me so that i could improve my writing skill. Tks in advance! give a band to this essay plz!

the line graph below illustrates the amount of water was used by 3 sectors Agriculture, Industrial and Domestic.
Based on the graph can be seen that the quantity of water was used for A increased considerably while global water was used by I and D rose more slightly.

The large amount of water was used for A in 1990 and this surge dramatically from 500km3 to around 3,000km3 in 2000. Throughout the period of 100 year, global water use by I and D sectors also increased, but the consumption was minimal until mid-century, from 1950 onward, I use grew steadily just over 1,000km3 in 2000, while D use rose more slowly just only around 300km3. Both far below the level of consumption by A.

The table shows the disparity in the population and irrigated land between 2 countries: Brazil and D.R.C. As a populous country( 176 millions) with a huge irrigated land(26,500km2), the water consumption per person in Brazil is much higher than this in D.R.C. With a spare population and smaller irrigated land than Brazil, the conpsumtion of water per person in D.R.C is lower( 8m3) than in Brazil(359km3).

To sum up, the line graph and the table below show that how high of consumption water can be used in A in some different countries on the world.

MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Feb 7, 2014   #2
The line graph below illustrates the amount of water was used by 3 sectors Agriculture, Industrial and Domestic.

Capitalize the first letter of your sentence.

The table shows the disparity in the population and irrigated land between 2 countries: Brazil and D.R.C.

These two sentences can form an introduction:
The line graph illustrates the changes in the amount of water used for agricultural, industrial and domestic purposes while the table compares water consumption in 2 different countries, Brazil and Democratic Republic of Congo.

Based on the graph can be seen that the quantity of water was used for A increased considerably while global water was used by I and D rose more slightly.

It is obvious that a larger quantity of water was used in agriculture than the other two sectors.

To sum up, the line graph and the table below show that how high of consumption water can be used in A in some different countries on the world.

Does the table mention anything about water use in agriculture?
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Feb 9, 2014   #3
Hi! First of all, I think it would be better if you have attached a scanned picture of the graph so we could evaluate your work more effectively.

Yes, it is very important that you upload your graph. Use the "Attach file(s)" feature above and upload your image. Then only others can provide you with more meaningful comments. Without seeing your graph it is difficult to to make proper comments. However, I feel that you have a good understanding about the structure you need to follow for this task.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS task 1- water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries