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the way to achieve good health and fitness in modern society


thinhtvdhtm 41 / 97  
Sep 17, 2009   #1
In some societies it is common to try to achieve good health and fitness through physically sports, special diets, or preventative medicine conventional or alternative. Some people, however, believe that the best way to stay fit and healthy is simply to lead a normal life.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
i am preparing for ielts tests, but my writing skill is not good, i hope you can help me to check this essay, thanks so much

Our health is the only thing we really have in the world. We can be taken away our money, clothes or houses we still survive: however, without health, we can not be in existence. Therefore, some people hold opinion that we should do sports, have good diet, and use preventative medicine to get healthier. Others, however, believe that having a normal life is the best way to achieve a healthy and fit body. Personally, I definitely agree with the former. In the following paragraphs, I will give my reasons to support my point of view.

To begin with, in modern society, we are becoming busier for our jobs; therefore, we should try to play sports to contribute to a healthier, fitter body. Nowadays, most work requires people with some certain skills; hence, during office time, we work with our brains mainly, our bodies may not move enough as we used to before with manual work. And of course, only with equal both physical and metal can bring our good health. When we do exercises in the gym or play sports in sport center, our bodies have to move a lot. So, we can burn energy, it makes us stronger and helps us to equal them. For example, 2 months ago, I used to play computer games after work; thus, my health was not often in good condition. However, after then instead of playing computer games, I went to gym to do exercises, and now I feel much better.

In addition, we should care about our diet. With development of technology, there are not only more types of a certain kind of food, but also many others created and they make our lives more convenient. Nevertheless, preprocessed or cooked foods often contain high fat, sugar which is not good for health. Moreover, people now often go to market and get foods and vegetable for whole week; consequently, they are alleviated freshness, quality as they are.

However, other people believe that getting a normal life is the best way to become healthier and fitter. It would be right if they were living in the eighteenth century. They forget that we are living in 21th century, it is really different: lifestyles, foods, work, and environment. It is wrong when they bring the things in past to apply in the modern world.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that to possess a healthier and fitter body we should play sports, do exersices and have a suitable diet.

EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Sep 17, 2009   #2
I'm trying to figure out how you've managed to post two essays while only giving feedback -- and not very useful feedback -- to one other forum member. According to our rules, you ought to post helpful replies to two other members for every essay that you post.

Your grammar is very rough right now. I understand this may lead you to feel uncomfortable giving grammatical advice to others. But you can -- and should -- comment on the content of essays written by other forum members.

We can be taken away our money, clothes or houses we still survive: however, without health, we can not be in existence.

Revision: We can lose our money, clothes, or housing and we still will survive. Without health, we cannot live.

Therefore, some people hold opinion that we should do sports, have good diet, and use preventative medicine to get healthier.

Therefore, some people believe that we should participate in sports, eat well, and use preventative medicine to maintain health.


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