Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

The way the cement is made and how it is used for produce concrete in construction processes


nurainiyusuf16 47 / 83 6  
Nov 6, 2016   #1
The diagrams show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

Both pictures illustrate the way of cement is made and how the cement is used for produce concrete in construction processes. Manufacturing of cement involves some complex procedures which use clay and limestone as the main material. Meanwhile, for making concrete only use blending method to mix cement, water, sand, and grave in favour.

Look at details in the first picture, cement production is begun with crushing of limestone and clay. This process will produce powder that blending in a mixer. Through a pipe the mixture will be heated by using rotating heater which spinning all the time to make perfect blend. Then, it flows to grinder for smoother cement. The last step is packing the cement in the bags.

In the second picture, it interprets the manufacturing of concrete. Material of concrete is dominated by small stones which is called gravel. This material makes up 50 percent of the ingredients. Next, it is blended in a mixer with 15 percent of cement and 25 percent of sand. Finally, it is added by 10 percent water for completing the process to make a pasta of concrete.

IvanMS027 43 / 56 9  
Nov 6, 2016   #2
Hi. Here are my suggestions for you.

1. Don't forget to attach the data to your thread.

2. Meanwhile, for making concrete,only use blending method is used to mix the cement, ...

3.

This process will produce powder ...

I would prefer to choose the present tense rather than future tense . this process produces the powder after the raw material is crushed by the crusher.

4.

This material makes up 50 percent of ...

you can change the percentage with the similar expression, such as "a half" for 50 percent.

Suggestion:
be careful with the future tense to explain the process.

Goodluck and Keep Spirited.
Holt [Contributor] - / 8,141 2302  
Nov 6, 2016   #3
Nura, you show improvement in this essay. You have proven that you understand the illustration and you are capable of somewhat clearly explaining what you viewed in the diagram. Your explanations of the two processes are actually the best I have read here so far, even without the diagrams to refer to. That is where the impressiveness of your essay lies. I can clearly understand the processes involved in the creation of cement and concrete even though you forgot to upload the diagram with your essay (Note: Please remember to include the diagram next time you upload a Writing Task 1 essay). Everything about the essay works. The grammar problems and sentence structure shortcomings can be overlooked in favor of the clear enough explanation contained in the essay.


Home / Writing Feedback / The way the cement is made and how it is used for produce concrete in construction processes