The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offense?

Essay task 2 IELTS

People have different views with regard to the question how to make our road safer. While I accept that severe punishments could be effective, I argue that there are some other solutions that can use to change driving offense and improve road safety.

It is unquestionable that human habit can be changed by drastic action. For that reason, severe punishments would act as deterrent for drivers who would be offenders. Drivers who cause for serious traffic accident would be sent in jail where they can rethink about the consequences of their reckless actions. One other penalty could be implemented to resist seriousness of offending is depriving license suspension permanently from break-rulers. Aside from that drivers can take conscious action before involving traffic under the sets of strict sentences.

Nevertheless, road safety object can be met by range of other solutions. Firstly, people can be educated before using traffic about the rules and how to prevent themselves from accidents that might occur on the road. While having prudent awareness about using traffic, drivers are less likely to break the rule. Secondly, authorities can provide better public transport for the habitant. With better public transport they might have no incentive to use private vehicle. The more traffic reduced on the road, the less possibility of traffic accidents. As a result, the road becomes much safer for traffic attendance.

In conclusion, although stricter punishment has its own advantages, I still believe that we can improve driver habits effectively and efficiently through some other solutions.

251 words. Thank you very much.

... other solutions that can be used
as a deterrent
Drivers who cause for serious ...
should be sent in jail
Aside from that,
While having prudent awareness ...
the habitant -> citizens
With better public transport,

I got it. Thank you very much.

I do not believe that you have written enough words to assure yourself of a passing score in the essay. 251 words isn't enough of a presentation to highlight your English writing abilities. You need a maximum of 275 words to accomplish that. Don't just try to meet the minimum word requirement. You are not maximizing your scoring potential in all 4 considerations when you do that.

Since you did not provide a copy of the original prompt requirements, I cannot assess the content of your essay for its relevance to the remaining scoring considerations. Please remember to provide that the next time you post here for a review. You cannot expect a comprehensive review from a contributor without it. Overall, I believe you have the potential to do well in the test. I just need more information to help guide you towards that.

Thank you for your advice.