Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

The ways used to dispose of the harmful garbage in Korea, Sweden and United Kingdom

Maitouyen282 9 / 26 3  
Feb 22, 2017   #1

recycling of the toxic materials

The charts illustrate the ways used to dispose of the harmful garbage in Korea, Sweden and United King dom. The data indicates the main method used in each country.

In Korea, the majority of dangerous waste products are recycled. By contrast, most of the harmful wastes are buried underground in Sweden and UK. The United Kingdom is the country that has most ways utilized to dispose of hazardous materials.

In Korea, around 69% of dangerous harmful products are recycled, compared to about 25% in Sweden and 0% in the UK. In the United Kingdom, recycling is not popular and not employed. However, the UK people prefer burying dangerous waste materials instead. The percentage of underground made up 82% in the UK, while it stands at 22% in Korea and 55% in Sweden.

Besides that, chemical treatment and dumping at sea which are not mentioned on the pie chart of Korea and Sweden are used in the United Kingdom. They are not really popular and stand at a similar percentage, 8%. 20% of hazardous waste products went on incineration in Sweden. By contrast, it reaches 9% and 2% in Korea and UK.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,031 2721  
Feb 22, 2017   #2
To, you don't need to upload the prompt. You can provide that in the text box. What we really need you to upload is the image. I really cannot understand what it is that you are doing wrong. The uploading instruction for the image is so simple that anybody can do it. It is necessary for you to ask for help from the moderators about your problem. I need the clear image, not the prompt. How can I make you remember ,"POST THE PROMPT, UPLOAD THE IMAGE". It isn't difficult to do.

Your summary overview is still incomplete. You only have 2 sentences in a paragraph that requires at least 3 sentences in order to present a valid overview. The summary should have been a complete paraphrasing of the instructions in the prompt. You did not provide that so you will lose points for that.

Your second paragraph is so incomplete that you only have 2 paragraphs in it. Again, please try to remember the simple and hard rule of academic essay writing, "3 sentences minimum, 5 sentences maximum per paragraph. You lose points for having only 2 sentences.That is an under developed and not very informative sentence."

You did well in the development of the last 2 paragraphs. However, the information should have been spread out within the 3 body paragraphs instead of being concentrated in only 2 developed paragraphs.

The score for this essay? I think you can somehow manage to score a 5 because you at least provided a mechanical representation of the information and showed an understanding of the prompt. The language is not advanced and is pretty basic but gets your message across without causing undue stress on the reader. So overall, this is an acceptable, though flawed piece of writing. There is some improvement to your work but you are far from showing remarkable improvement at this point. Maybe your next essay will show that already. You are getting better at it in a slow but sure manner.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Feb 22, 2017   #3
The introductory paragraph is well done, but I think you need to put some ideas in order to make your opening paragraph is more interesting. Let me give you an example:

Some comparisons of how to get rid of harmful waste are presented in the charts. The data is taken from different countries and is measured in percentage.

Also, some changes have been made in the following paragraph. Here is the one:

General speaking, people in Sweden are more likely to bury such materials, while those living in Korea recycle more their waste. Although waste products in the UK interred in underground show the highest proportion, hardly are these materials reused into other products.

Hope this helps :D

Home / Writing Feedback / The ways used to dispose of the harmful garbage in Korea, Sweden and United Kingdom