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Toefl writing is my weakness, hope you can help me, the question is written in the message.


DearbhailS 6 / 10 2  
Jul 19, 2014   #1
Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Life today is easier and more comfortable thant it was when your grandparents were children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

My grandparents always tell me that life today is better than the life when they were children. But in my own view, I disagree with this statement, because I think life today is more difficult than the life before.

Technology and economy are growing up while challenges are becoming more and more difficult, so people today have to face more and more dares than before. Compare my life and the life when my grandparents were children. When they are children, what they had to do after school was finishing their homework and played with their friends. But for now, after I finished my homework, I need to have extra classes because other students do this that means if I do not do this, I will lose in the future. So, I have less time to have fun. In this situation, I live a harder life.

In spite of the challenges in society, many parents pressure their children. Because in their mind, the next generation must behave better than the previous generation, so people today have to carry their own dreams and also, their parents' dreams. Around me, I always hear the word parents talk to their children like you have to study better so that when I compare you and my friends' children, I can be the winner; or you have to be successful in the future, so in this way you will not let me down. All this word give so much tension on this generation, to avoid upsetting our parents, we have sacrifice something we really love to achieve these goals. However, these goals are not our goals, they belong to our parents. So when we try our best to make these goals come true, we do not feel happy in our heart but sad or angry. In this case, we do not have a more comfortable life.

In the conclusion, in our grandparents' childhood, they concerned about less things than us, so the life now is not cozier than theirs.

Thanks to read my essay and give your suggestions!
sundin928 12 / 18 10  
Jul 19, 2014   #2
But in my own view, I disagree with this statement, because I think life today is more difficult than the life
in my own view= I think ,just use one.

Technology and economy are growing up while challenges are becoming more and more difficult, so people today have to face more and more dares than before.

Technology and economy are growing up while challenges are becoming more and more difficult, so people today have to face more and more dares increasingly than before.

When they are children, what they had to do after school was finishing their homework and playedplaying with their friends.
OP DearbhailS 6 / 10 2  
Jul 20, 2014   #3
Thank you so much!
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jul 22, 2014   #4
My grandparents always tell me that life today is better than their life when they wereas children. But, in my own view, I disagree with this statementview(no comma) because I think life today is more difficult than the life beforecomplicated and difficult than what it has been in previous eras.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Jul 22, 2014   #5
Technology and economy are growing up while challenges are becoming more and more difficult, so people today have to face more and more dares than before

... this is a very confusing sentence :( You need to rephrase this line as it does not convey any clear idea :(

Compare my life and the life when my grandparents were children! When they are children, what they had to do after school was finishingto finish their homework and playedplay with their friends. But for nowme , after I finishedfinish my homework, I need to have extra classes because other students do this that means if I do not do this, I will lose in the future.to stay in competition with my fellow students.


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