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Wealth and poorer nations; 'developing country and developed country'


Purwati Ayu 7 / 14 2  
Feb 22, 2014   #1
  Should wealth nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves.

  
Obviously, the state in the world is classified in two types, developing country and developed country, while one way to twine good relationship among all of them is by transfer support each other. Then, we often know many developing countries make program which is dedicated for third-world countries by providing basic needs. In other hand, the governments in non-globalize countries also have duties to take care the citizens properly. In the following paragraph, I will discuss about these views.

  First of all, wealth countries present many aids to poorer countries such as in sectors economic, education, social and so on. We know that every year there are more than a thousand scholarships which are offered by developed countries to invite students from poorer countries studying overseas. They also care about food adequacy of children by giving healthy food and milk. As we know that one of big problems which happens in developing countries is nutritious and food supply.

  But, in other hand, government in developing country also have responsibility to take care their people. Such as Indonesia, in the main state constitution is listed "fatherless children and poor people are looked by state (council)". Clearly explain there, that government must protect and give good treatment to people, while nowadays we still often seeing many beggars, non-educational children and hunger cases in several areas. It means that the government is unable to govern their country properly.

  All in all, the wealth country have good social responsibility to help another, while the governments in some poorer countries still can not look after the inhabitants independently. I think the basic need have to be full filled by the government in that country and aids from another should be more considered.

SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Feb 22, 2014   #2
hii, little from me

countries make program which is dedicateddedicating

As we knowthat one of big problems which happens in developing countries is nutritious and food supply.

for two conjunctions you need three verbs

government in developing country also havehas responsibility to take care their people.

while nowadays we still often seeing many beggars, non-educational children and hunger cases in several areas.

verbs ??

he wealth country havehas good....

I think the basic need have to be full filled by the government in that country and aids from another should be more considered.

this is an abstruce sentence. But I like your idea in this essay, like a humanity activist :)
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Mar 7, 2014   #3
Obviously, the state in the world is classified in two types, developing country and developed country, while one way to twine good relationship among all of them is by transfer support each other.

.... This is pretty too long for a hook. Have a more simple and relevant sentence to open your essay.

In the following paragraph, I will discuss about these views.

This is too vague. Your prompt expects you to state your opinion and you better do it in the introduction itself before concluding the intro. I think I have provided you the most appropriate format for the introduction in your other essay. Hope you would pay attention to that. Also, pay attention to what Pahan has suggested for your overall essay structure!


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