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Wealth and Power / Personal Growth - IELTS

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Aug 1, 2017   #1
Question: A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important.


honor, kindness and trust to measure a person's worth

There is apparently a long list of criteria in evaluating a person. However, a proportion of people assume that conventional ethical values are being taken off list. Seemingly, the worthiness of an individual is now attributed to his or her social significance and possession of properties. From my point of view, I partly disagree with it.

Undeniably, in this material world, people tend to admire or envy with those financially superior or who claim desirable positions in various social hierarchies. In fact, their admiration and judgment based on these factors are not ungrounded, in other words, reasonable. To climb high in social ladder, one must definitely pose certain characteristics. Being in charge of hundreds of employees, for example, requires billionaire CEOs competence, brainpower and leadership skills. It is not a coincidence that a selected group of elites are voted into the government; otherwise, every citizen could run for presidency.

Meanwhile, social status and material wealth can never suffice, rather be trivial and flawed in several cases. To illustrate, luxurious celebrities would not earn themselves respects if over-indulging in alcohol or drugs. The same goes for a reputable teacher who bears discrimination toward impoverished students or a head director whose company is criticized for labor abuse. Furthermore, that old-fashioned values are not exalted is a false notion, especially on daily basis when people comment on others' behaviors. It can be explained by the fact that ordinary people usually attempt to raise their kids to be benevolent, rules-respecting , kind-hearted citizens and praise bonding, trust worthy relationships. Still, they absolutely stand for the righteousness and condemn violation of rights. That is to say, there is no way that ethics have been totally neglected by societies.

All things considered, I would confirm my stance that although wealth and power can be the symbols of personal worth, the intrinsic value of a person should be measured by their morals such as honor, kindness and trust.

(321 words)

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,305 2863  
Aug 1, 2017   #2
Anh, let me start by helping you with some advice about how to better develop an opening statement. You see, the opening statement is expected to represent your understanding of the original prompt requirements. One way of accurately doing this is by taking note of specific keywords in the essay. This will show that you analyzed the prompt requirements and properly considered the expectations of the discussion. In this case, the keywords to be used in the opening statement are : person's worth, social status, material possessions, old fashioned values, honor, kindness, trust, importance, extent of your opinion. By using the keywords in the opening statement development, you will prove that you understood the requirements and also, understand the meaning of the words. These lead to higher TA, LR, and GRA scores. Therefore, a more apt opening statement and subsequent discussion would have been:

People these days are no longer judged by their old fashioned values, honour, kindness and trust. Rather, they are viewed based upon their social status and material possession. This opinion is very popular these days when interacting with people. However, I find myself in partial disagreement with this statement due to some of my knowledge and experience regarding this topic. I will be discussing the extent of my disagreement within this essay.

I partially disagree with this essay on the basis of...

In addition to that discussion, I would like to add that...

Take for example...

In summation of this discussion...

Properly formatting your essay to the maximum 5 sentence requirement, focusing on only one topic per paragraph will see you writing at least 300 or more words that will help to increase the possibility of a higher TA, C&C, and GRA score for you. I don't recommend writing less than 3 sentences per paragraph, regardless of it being an opening statement, body, or conclusion because it is only by writing more in proper English that you can develop a better coherence and cohesiveness score.

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