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should wealthy nations take responsiblity to help the poorer countries?


Dec 5, 2012   #1
Hi. Can anyone give me feedback with this essay? Any help is appreciated. :)

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibilities of the government of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

The gap between nations has been of great concern in recent years. As a result, some people may hold the idea that underdeveloped countries should assume responsibility to take care of their citizens themselves. However, in my opinion, it is necessary for the rich countries to help the poor ones with food and education.

To begin with, it is a moral imperative for wealthy countries to provide relief to the underdeveloped ones. Those rich nations should share part of their enormous wealth to assist in bare essentials such as education and food for the poorer countries. For example, by supplying food, water and aid in education, affluent countries like America and European nations may help alleviate the suffering of people in Africa such as Haiti.

Secondly, without the help from wealthy countries, the developing countries may have little chances to develop as well as look after their citizens properly. It is the developed countries with an advance technology and high level of education that are more likely to make rapid progress. In contrast, the poorer nations which are unable to take advantage of the sophisticated machine may stand still and cannot develop. To make the matter worse, these countries may be faced with other problems like civil unrest, poverty and illiteracy that hold their economics back. Therefore, those countries need assistance from others to overcome these problems first.

In conclusion, I reiterate that wealthy countries should be required to share their wealth among underdeveloped ones in both food and education, otherwise the gap between the two is likely to be widened in the future. The help from the rich countries may not only assist the poorer ones but also strengthen the ties between those.

Thanks for reading. ^^

Dec 5, 2012   #2
The gap between nations has been of great concern in recent years. As a result, some people may hold the idea that underdeveloped countries should assume responsibility to take care of their citizens themselves.

Well.... there is an issue with the link between these two sentences.... The gap has widened and as a result poor countries are supposed to look after themselves.... It sounds a bit awkward, isn't it? When the gap is widened, the poor becomes more poorer and vice verse. So it implies that the rich should look after the poor :D

Just check on this : )
Dec 5, 2012   #3
Thanks a lot dumi. I did feel there was something wrong there but I didn't know how to make it smoother. =.=.
Dec 5, 2012   #4
MĂ-nh nghÄŠ về mạt nội dung bấn trĂ-nh bĂ y khĂĄ á»-n.
MĂ-nh chỉ muá»'n gĂłp Ă˝ thĂŞm một chĂşt ở Ä'oấn 3 (câu 4) - "To make the matter worse" Ă˝ bấn lĂ "LĂ m cho tĂ-nh hĂ-nh cĂ ng trở nĂŞn tá»"i tệ hĆĄn"?, náşżu váş­y thĂ- mĂ-nh nghÄŠ câu "The situation goes from bad to worse" sáş˝ hay hĆĄn :)

Bấn cĂł một káşżt thĂşc hay nhĆ°ng mĂ-nh nghÄŠ trong trĆ°á»ng hợp nĂ y bấn k nĂŞn dĂšng từ " reitate " trong phần káşżt luáş­n vĂ- hiển nhiĂŞn ở phần káşżt chĂşng ta luĂ'n kháşłng Ä'ịnh lấi / nĂłi lấi những gĂ- chĂşng ta Ä'Ă£ nĂłi ở phần mở cĹŠng nhĆ° phần thân nĂŞn....bấn tá»'t hĆĄn nĂŞn thay báşąng " think ", từ nĂ y vừa mang tĂ­nh chủ quan vừa mang tĂ­nh khĂĄch quan :)

ChĂşc bấn thĂ nh cĂ'ng!


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