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Task 1 - How the weather information is collected by Australian Bureau of Meteorology


irfan727 49 / 68 29  
Nov 25, 2015   #1
The diagram illustrates how the weather information collected by Australian Bureau of Meteorology before being broadcasted to the society. Based on the data, three kinds of sophisticated devices which are used to collect the up-to-date information, namely satellite, radar and drifting buoy.

Moving to a more detailed analysis, satellite technology offers photos globally include analysing and forecasting while radar is observed to radar screen which is gained from the inhabitants' houses. In addition, drifting buoy is the equipment which is placed on the sea. It works with sharing information regarding the recent condition in a form of synoptic chart. Officially, all of sources are processed by the main server or computer prior to broadcasting.

Consequently, the climate information should be accurate thanks to comparing 3 sources. Furthermore, the data is presented by various devices like television, radio and recorded telephone announcement. So that, the information will be accepted by the Australians and they know what the weather forecast.

nsahmad 11 / 14 3  
Nov 25, 2015   #2
Hi Irfan, happy to read your writing.
I try to give you some sugestions.

Moving to a more detailed analysis, satellite technology offers photos globally include analysing and forecasting including analysis and forecast, (comma) while radar is observed to radar screen which is gained from the inhabitants' houses.

comment.
all in all, you have good grammar, but trying to use short sentence to make clear meaning. In your sentence, there are two conjuctions, while and which, it makes your readers breathless for reading your hand writing, using comma or dot to tackle this issue. And some double verb is that I have tried to give more optional word. Hoping helpful.


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