Please leave some advice on my essay. Much appreciated!
(If my introduction is not good, can you suggest another correct one for me?)Topic:
Some people claim that what many people eat in western countries is unhealthy food and that their diet is getting worse.
Critics say that these countries should change their diet.
What is your opinion on this?
Here is my essay:
Convenience food is considered as a specific cultural aspect of numerous Western countries. However, this diet is acknowledged to be unhealthy for citizens. That's why there are unnumbered arguments claiming that an eating habit innovation is vital to Western nations. In my opinion, although I agree that the obesity rates are getting worse among Western civilization, I am in total disapproval of modifying their whole diet due to some reasons. The explanation will be given after discussing the devastating state of obesity.
To begin with, obviously the processed food makes great contributions to various chronic diseases. Take obesity for example, recent research has indicated that 70% residents in Western nations is likely to suffer from stroke, sleeplessness and other dangerous illnesses because of being obese. As a result, this fact has put enormous burden on the government's medical system. Consequently, a massive amount of money will be paid for obesity treatment, which could downgrade the national economy.
Despite the alarmist state above, eating habit innovation intensive disadvantages. Oneunnumbered impact of it is loss of diverse cultures , which can be resulted thanks to the change of cuisine. Cooking aspect represents for its nation. Therefore, eliminating a national cuisine can also mean vanishing heterogenious culture. What's more, not only unumbered money will be spent on changing cooking system, but the fast-paced world of these nations can not suitable to any other cuisines except fast food. That's why Western countries should not innovate their diet.
In order to prevent the devasating effects of obesity, I believe that putting high taxes on fast food instead of changing all the diet will reduce its consumption and improve the health of community.
In conclusion, although the Western countries are indeed facing to the risk of high obesity rates, I highly recommend that they had better put taxes on proccessed food rather than innovating their whole cuisine.