Unanswered [12] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

Has the widespread use of the internet influenced taken the world`s control?


trouble 1 / -  
Jan 15, 2014   #1
the widespread use of the Internet and its influence in today`s world?
internet, the global netweb service is the principal information provider. nowadays people spend lot of time surfing on the web, where they can find not only good information but also unreliable data that can make you develop a wrong point of view.

in fact, information is really easy to get besides it is available to every single person in the world. although you may find good information that can help you with the purpose you want it for, people waste a lot of time while they are searching. in addition to that, data could be unreliable because everyone can load on the web anything they want.

for example, every single student takes a look on wikipedia for doing some research, and what they don`t know is that someone could modify the information they are reading or going to use and they wouldn`t even realize. moreover, students think they have just done a good job and achieved new knowledge, this provoques them to be lazy and always look forward the easy way out.

consequently, internet could be a really useful tool that makes our lives easier and lets us be aware of what happens on the other side of the globe in the same moment. undeniably in this case the information provision doesn`t influence people`s life in a really good way.

accordingly to that, what is left to do for humans? people have to pay attention on what they get from the web, they don`t have to be satisfied woth the first link that pops up while they are looking specifically for something.

naturally, people will have to ask themselves, is internet taking the world`s control? is this an unreliable source having an impact in your life?

ARIA 16 / 43 1  
Jan 15, 2014   #2
Hi Trouble
First of all it is important to know where do you need this writing essay?
In general in all your writing I can't see anywhere to answer the main question in title. You need to write whether or not the Internet influences takes the control of the world or not. Whole your writing needs to be focused b answering this question. So that you need introduction with your opinion about the question clearly specified there with paragraph that develops your opinion with example.

As to have an idea about what you can write regarding the topic or have an outline for your writing, you can write yes because it is used almost everywhere in the world and it is good tool to influence others opinion or action as all media or communication tools have had this quality through history. then you can give example of the effect of papers and printing on human development or control that books have had on human being and, etc.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jan 15, 2014   #3
First of all it is important to know where do you need this writing essay?

This is a very important comment. Why have you written this? For IELTS, TOEFL? Or for a class room assignment?
Also, you very poorly present your essay to us.It's very difficult to follow because you start your sentences with simple letters. If you want to attract more feedbacks, you should present it in a more neat and tidy manner.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Jan 16, 2014   #4
As others have commented, you need lots of improvement with regard to presentation and essay structure. I don't have any idea why you have written this essay, but I think you can follow the same structure that dumi recommends for IELTS and TOEFL tasks.


Home / Writing Feedback / Has the widespread use of the internet influenced taken the world`s control?