Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Animal annihilation is an alarming issue in our modern world. While some suggested that all species deserve to be given equal security, while others argued that the animal closest to extinction should be prioritized for protection. I will discuss both of the opinions from each group while strongly side with the fact that all fauna should be protected.
For a number of reasons, many people believe that putting efforts to save the entire kingdom could lead us to overpopulation in which can be destructive for human survival. One cause is due to the natural behaviour and the survival instincts of wildlife that can be a life-risking threat to the human. In many cases, animals wander into urban areas and cause property damage and human injury. To exemplify, over 1 million deer were killed as they stroll on roads and highways according to the U.S. national wildlife organization.
On the other hand, it is essential to put our attention to the other existing animals as they are the crucial component to the balance and stability of the ecosystem. In fact, the existence of diverse wildlife allows us to maintain the biodiversity of the environment. Without them, there will be a loophole in the ecological pyramid that will be disruptive to the whole ecosystem. For example, in the marine environment, if sharks, the dominant predator face extinction, then tuna which are the secondary predator will be overpopulated.
In conclusion, although there are particular breeds of animal that require special protection given the lower numbers of their population existed, from my perspective, all animal deserves equal conservation due to their importance to our ecosystem.
Please check this essay for me and give feedbacks. Thank you !
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4780 In the paraphrase, the word" While" is used incorrectly.
While some suggested that all species deserve to be given equal security, while others argued
In the first instance, the reason is missing from the presentation. A period should have divided the presentation rather than a comma since the ideas presented are different and not a continuing and related presentation.
The discussion uses a general reference which does not offer the correct presentation format. The implication of the discussion is based on the writers opinion rather than the public opinion plus personal opinion type. The discussion is unclear in reference to the opinion voice. From the looks of it, pronoun usage would have helped with that. This presentation does not clearly say who is speaking in the paragraphs. The points of view are muddled.
Your opinions are not enough explicit and legible in this essay. Maybe adding more ideas to the third paragraph would help.
Also be careful of relative clause, as in the third paragraph, "...pyramid that will..." but I think "that" need to be replaced by "which", please check
