Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that only a few wild animals should be protected.
DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.
It is true that people hold different opinions to the extent to which wild animals should be protected. While some argue that the protection should be for only few wild animals, I firmly believe that all wild animals ought to be preserved.
One the one hand, it is said that some animals do not bring any benefits to humans at all such as rats and some kinds of insects. These animals are not important to ecosystem and they are even harmful to humans 'lives. For example, rats eat food that human produced and spread viruses on their bodies and make humans infectious to some disease. Besides, some also indicated that we are overspend money on wild animals by building a lot of zoos and conservation sites to protect them and organizing numerous campaigns to raise people' s awareness about the importance of wild animal protection. This amount of money should be spent on solving issues of human beings such as hunger and property.
One the other hand, I strongly agree with the viewpoint that all wildlife should be under protection. Firstly, each animal in nature plays certain role in the ecosystem, which benefits to us in one way or another. For example, in highland areas, thanks to worms, after heavy rains, soil is kept on the lands, whereby, alleviate floods and protect humans' lives. Secondly, wild animals are a rich resource for research. Scientists usually analyze wild animals and their exploration can acknowledge humans about nature and some show that some parts of a number of wild animals can be potential medicines.
In conclusion, the debate of whether all or just few wild animals should be under protection is still constant. In my opinion, it is necessary to conserve all wild animal.Overall,your essay is really good.However,I suggest that in the sentence "For example, rats .. and make humans infectious ...", the second word "and" should be replaced by "which"
- Here is my suggestion for the example you gave regarding the presence of worms in paragraph 3:
for example, the worms existents in the highland area are very important for soil fertility, and it was very good for supporting agricultural production. Besides that, the worms play a role in maintaining soil structure properly especially after heavy rains, preventing natural disasters such as landslides and floods.
- I think in the conclusion paragraph, it will be better if you restate the 2 ideas discussed then give your implications or opinions.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 You do not start the prompt paraphrase with a given opinion of the two points of view. The opening paragraph should be a clear paraphrase of 3 things:
- The topics for discussion
- The discussion reasons
- The instruction for the discussion
Your essay simply stated a personal opinion immediately, which shows that you do not know how to properly paraphrase the discussion points. For example, you could have said:
There are currently 2 factions of animal support organizations in existence. The first, are the animal activist groups that tend to support the idea that free roaming fauna must be given security. The second group, believe that there should be a selective method of securing beasts in the wild. By considering reasons from each group, I shall develop a clear personal opinion regarding this discussion.
The reasoning paragraphs are in error because of the formatting problem. The presentation should be based on the 3 reasoning paragraph system composed of:
- POV 1 / Reason
- POV 2/ Reason
- Personal opinion / Reason
While you did somewhat represent the public point of view in the first reasoning paragraph, you failed to properly discuss the second point of view prior to the presentation of your personal opinion. Therefore, your essay will be considered only party responsive to the task, with some discussions better developed than your other discussion points. It isn't a very good reasoning presentation and will definitely lower your final score. It is important to cover all the discussion points in your presentation so that you can maximize your scoring potential.
