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Wiriting Task 1 (The chart and table below reports about populations figures in Japan)


Delvisyendra 6 / 7  
Oct 30, 2016   #1
The given bar chart and table perform the information regarding the number of population in Japan during more one century from 1950 to 2055 years, measured by percentage and millions. Overall, it is really important to notice that the highest population happened in year 2005 and experienced change after restriction having children that will be predicted downward in the future years.

Initially, the amount of inhabitation stood at 4,1 millions people in the fisrt year which had percentage about one in twenty. Then it was followed in the next years that rose considerably reached 34 % from percentage of total population. Suprisingly, It was the largest one over fourty five years.

Eventually, by implementing a brilliant program, families who live in whole regions of Japan have to obey the rule to limit the number of children. As the result, the population of resident is decreasing gradually reached 125,4 millions people in 2005. Interestingly, it will experience an upward enormously in the last year approximately twenty millions percent of total population.




channyein - / 4  
Oct 30, 2016   #2
@Delvisyendra
As I'm also trying to sit for IELTS, my comments might not be very useful. But these are the things I noticed with your essay:

- I don't see any information about 'Child Birth Restriction' or 'Birth control' in the graph. I feel like adding that information is not necessary.

- You should focus on the projection given in the graph (i.e 2035 and 2055)
- Some sentence structures are not clear and I don't understand full meaning of such sentences.
Best of luck! Cheers!
WasishaSisha 16 / 20  
Oct 30, 2016   #3
Hi Delvisyendra,

I have few suggestions for you

....... in Japan during more one century from 1950 to 2055 years, ---> Perhaps you can use "over a century" to make it clear.

....the amount of ....---> You can't use amount for countable goods or stuff.

...inhabitation stood at 4,1 millions..... ----> It means residence, it should be "inhabitant"

.....people in the fisrt year which had ... ---> be careful with your misspelling.

by implementing a brilliant program, families who live in whole regions of Japan have to obey the rule to limit the number of children. ----> You can't make up story for this case. Be careful.

will experience an upward enormously in the last year approximately ---> You have to put adverb at first then adjective


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