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Wiriting Task 2: Problems associated with the internet and what solutions ?


MFES2016 5 / 6 2  
Oct 5, 2016   #1
Using the Internet is the means used to share information and exchange data more easily, but also can cause problems.
Firstly, the internet as a way of information can be used as suggestions of fraud on the Internet that can harm the user internet. For instance, sales mode online that sells not accordance with goods.

Secondly, the Internet can cause dependence to lose track of time in his life. For example, if someone is addicted to social media and online gaming, if the day just does not use the internet for sure they feel something is missing in their lives.

Finally, Internet usage can cause health problems to the wearer. This disruption caused by the device used by the user. Computers are a lot of benefit in many ways. Some people even become like to linger in front of the computer. However, this turned out to be a case of behavior can cause side effects. Some users complained of pain in certain body parts, just as pain in the hands, arms, shoulders, neck, and back, or fatigue on the eyes.

The solution to overcoming these problems are: The first, The need for law enforcement with the establishment of internet police are responsible for determining the standard control operation and application of information technology. The second must be able to set the time between being in front of a computer or playing games with the portion of learning and rest, and the last is more able to maintain health while using the Internet for health more than anything.

andika08 81 / 80 16  
Oct 5, 2016   #2
Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

Using the Internet is the means used to share information ...
For instance, sales mode online that sellsnot accordance with goods .

Some users complained of feel pain in thecertain ofbody parts, just as which are pain...
... The first, The need for law enforcement with the ...
... while using the Internet for health more than anything.

You have explain the Computers are a lot of benefit in many ways clearly and totally.
You can added introduction in the first paragraph. there is repetition like first, second and the last you can use another words.
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Oct 6, 2016   #3
Hi Pandai, running through your essay, I must say that you have made a very clear view of your points, points that are worth considering in todays situation when it comes to the usage of the internet, I for one believe that, one must think before they click, once you've done it, you can only delete it, but it will be forever in the world wide web. Pretty much, what I'm saying is, having the power to get connected to almost everyone in the world is a huge responsibility, a responsibility where everybody needs to take caution and respect for ones privacy and right of space.

Now, I do have a few notes you might want to consider in your revision.

- buthowever, it also can cause problems.
- Firstly , the internet, as a way of
- gathering information can be used
- that can harm the user internet .
- For instance, sales mode online that sells
- not accordance withfaulty goods and advertising .

- Secondly , the Internet can cause dependence
- toand one can lose track of time in his life( this phrase is not necessary for this particular sentence .
- if the day just does not usewill come that they loosethe internet connection and for sure

There you have it Pandai, I hope the above remarks help and I left the rest of the essay so you will be able to practice editing yourself by following through the one above.


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