... different countries in 2009 is shown inBY USING the bar chart.
1. I suggest in to reduce repetition of "IN" in the sentence.
A comparison of proportion of shares [...] in health care sector.
2. You can emphasize your introduction with adding another overview. For instance in clothing, the percentage of all countries almost same / the gap between countries is smallest in comparison with others.
... needs of human life, housing was the highest proportion in all countries except Japan, ...
In contrast, Canada was the highest proportion in clothing demand at 7% ...
3. REPETITION: maybe in the second sentence you can change it into passive forms :
In contrast, the highest proportion in clothing was depicted by Canada at 7%Another sector, Food experienced AT 22% in Japan while Canada was lower BY7% than Japan.
4. Don't forget to add "AT" or "BY" before the number.