Unanswered [19] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

The wolf + Strong relationships - help to the correction of these paragraphs?


p177 2 / 4  
Jul 30, 2011   #1
1.The wolf is a member of the dog family which is not domestic and also rarely bark.the research has shown no difference in karyotypes between wolf and dog.it seems early human temed some of wolves and during selective breeding them today dogs have been created which are domestic and good componion for human.

2.The study found a strong relationship between a lack of friends and sibiling rivalry,inasmuch(since) children learn how to behave and attitude in family if they used to comper themselves with sibiling it perhaps cause some feeling such as jealousy,frustration and sadness and also self admiration, this sitution often caused that sibiling don't have good relation with eachother thus they don't learn benefit relation in family ,morever on sociallife they face to problems to relate with people,usually they can't trust easy on people and see the life such a champ(battlefield).

isabellaclaudia 14 / 31  
Jul 30, 2011   #2
corrections

1. rarely barks
2. research has shown
3. between a wolf and a dog
3. it seems that humans
4.during selective breeding them today dogs have been created which are domestic and good componion for human.
sorry i dont quite understand this statement. i think u forgot to put some connotations.
5.between lack of friends
6.behave and watch their attitude
7. to compare
8. cause some feelings
9.this situation often caused siblings not to have a good relationship with each other

you have some spelling and also missin articles.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Aug 2, 2011   #3
Great corrections, Claudia!

Parya, in number 1 I see that you began a sentence with a word that was not capitalized. Capitalize the first letter of the first word of every sentence!!!!

:-)

In number 2 I see that you wrote one VERY long sentence. It is better to end the sentence with a period and begin a new one. Short sentences are better than long sentences!
OP p177 2 / 4  
Aug 2, 2011   #4
Thank you so much isabella & EF_Kevin :)


Home / Writing Feedback / The wolf + Strong relationships - help to the correction of these paragraphs?