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Women unemployment percentage in four countries of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014 (IELTS 1)


Niam01 6 / 7 2  
Jan 21, 2016   #1
The graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014

A breakdown of the percentage of women who joblessness in particular countries of UK over a 12-month period, between 2013 and 2014,is presented in bar chart. At first glance, it is important to note that, in a year, there was a slight decline in female unemployment. While Scotland experienced a small rise in women who did not get a job, Northern Ireland saw a reverse.

To begin, in 2013, England witnessed the largest proportion of female unemployment, with 6.8%. However, this figure decreased in a year later by 0.3%. In contrast, there was an upward rate of women joblessness in Scotland. Interestingly, only this country which had an increasing percentage of employment women, this figure begins at 6.1% in 2013 and followed by an increase at 6.7% in 2014, the highest proportion of women out of work among four countries.

Moving to Wales and Northern Ireland, there were almost a near similar number of women occupied, at 5.4% and 5.6% respectively. Wales witnessed the smallest number women occupied of four countries in 2013 then this figure declined to 5.0% in 2014. Furthermore, there was a dramatic fall in Northern Ireland and become the least percentage of women occupied in 2014, declined by 1%.




Mardy17 32 / 18 5  
Jan 22, 2016   #2
Hy Niam01.
Actually, you have to attach the image of the bar chart that you have explained.
Well, I just highlight on several errors on your writing.

A breakdown of the percentage of women who WERE joblessness in particular (...).

... there was a slight decline in THE PERCENTAGE/LEVEL/PROPORTION OFfemale unemployment . IN ANY CASE , While Scotland experienced a small rise in THE women RATE who did n not get ...

However, this figure decreased in a THE FOLLOWING year later by 0.3%. In contrast, there was an upward rate of women joblessness in Scotland. Interestingly, only this country which had an increasing percentage of employment women , this figure begin BEGAN at 6.1% in 2013 and followed by (...) highest proportion of women WHO WENT out TO work among four countries.

... there were almost a near similar number PROPORTION of women occupied, at ...
Wales witnessed the smallest number OF women occupied offour AMONG OTHER countries in 2013 (...) become BECAME the least percentage (...) declined by 1% COMPARED TO PREVIOUS YEAR.


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