Please edit this essay thanks
A WONDERFUL CAREER
As I was getting of the elevator, I started walking down the hall. Over the intercom I heard
a woman says, "Code Blue 4 CAA, Code Blue 4CCA". At that moment, I knew the medical
response team was on there way to ICU. I continue to head for the two big double doors at the
end of the hall. I had no idea what really goes on behind those two doors. I open the doors and all
of the nurses were running around getting items for the cold blue patient. The person I came to
interview was actually in the room, because it was her patient. I stood there watching and
thinking to myself, did I come at a bad time? It seems like thirty minutes has gone by before
they had everything under control. It was really only ten minutes. One thing I noticed, everybody
worked as a team. I guess that is why it did not take them long to handle the situation.
As I stood there, Nurse Terri came up to me and said, "Are you're ready to interview me".
I reply "are you sure you have the time for me". We both laugh, as she escorted me to the nursing
station. She began to document what happen to her code blue patient. As she documented, I
looked around and notice a lot of beeping from all the machines the patients was hook up to.
Terri turns to me and says, "Ok Keisha I am ready for my interview".
When I think of a nurse, I think of someone who is very compassionate. The first person
that comes to mind is Terri Arthur R.N. She is a ICU nurse at Sentara Careplex Hospital on the
Fourth floor. When she was a little girl, she could remember her mom working as a nurse. When
her mom would ask her what she would like to be when she grows up, she was not sure. Terri
started out in 1985 working as a certified nursing assistant at a nursing home. She wanted to see
if she could handle all of the responsibly that comes with the job and if she would like it. She
worked for a while before she realized the nursing field is truly a job for her. As time went on,
she knew that there was more to nursing then being a C.N.A. She went back to school in 1994 to
get her LPN degree. She decided to venture out into other nursing fields such as rehab, home
health, medicine unit and nursing agencies. When ask if she enjoys her job, she responded I feel
it is my calling to be a nurse. Mrs. Arthur just graduated in May of 2008 from Thomas Nelson
Community College with an Associate degree in Nursing. It took her three years to get her RN
degree, she has no plans to go back for her BSN or MSN at this time.
When I ask Terri have she ever thought about becoming something other then a nurse, she
said, "Yes an Architect". She is very interested in going to school to become a architect, but she
think she is too old to start a new career now. As a Nurse Terri makes 61,776 a year, it depends
on where you live. In the north areas, you will make a lot more then the south.
I ask Terri to explain to me is there a difference between a Unit Nurses and an ICU
Nurses. She stated there are many differences, especially the number of patient they get. As a
nurse in her department you only get two patients because of their critical status. Each room is
setup for the camera for the EICU team, which consist of doctors and nurses from Norfolk. They
sit in a room in Norfolk and monitor, your patients every minute, even if the nurse is not in the
room. If something goes wrong and the nurse do not know the EICU team can page the nurse to
that room so she can check on her patient. If you are in the room and have done everything, you
know how to help the patient. However, everything you are doing is not working; they would tell
you what to do next. The cameras are so good, they can see up a patient nose. As for a nurse on
the unit you have to wait for a doctor to call you back and give you orders if the patient blood
pressure is too high, but in ICU, they have the EICU team to give them standard orders. This
way the can take care of the problem without waiting on a phone call from the doctors.
I ask Terri how she handles the stress at work. She says, "In my department you don't
have time to panic or get all stressed out, you go with the flow." She stays focus on her patients
at all, time so if something comes up, she quickly reacts to it. Terri has been a nurse for fourteen
Years, she has seen a lot and nothing about her job seems to stress her out.
When ask how she feels about the HMO and nursing? She said, "I believe they dictate too
much. Instead of letting the doctors tell them what a patient truly needs to have done, The HMO
companies want to make that decision on not paying for the treatments. Sometimes the people
need to have the procedure done but they have to pay for it themselves if their HMO will not do
it. Some procedures are too much for out of pocket payment. She has had two patients so far in
her department that needed a procedure, but they could not get it because of their HMO. Then
the patient family wants her to explain why they are being treated like that, but she explains it
not her doing it is the HMO Company.
Terri has received so many letters from patients, notes to management from staff and
employee of the month awards thought out her career. She is a great example of a good nurse
with wonderful bedside manners. When she is at work, it is all about her patients. If she has a
patient that cannot communicate with her. She would continue to speak with them, because she
knows the last thing a patient losses is their hearing. She knows what it takes to be a nurse, time
and time again she has proven that she is a good nurse.
I'd be happy to. What is the prompt and requirements for the assignment? What kind of assistance, specifically, are you seeking? For instance, grammar, spelling, content, etc?
Good evening.
There are some main things I am concerned about in this essay. For instance, with the first paragraph:
"As I was getting of the elevator, I started walking down the hall. Over the intercom I heard a woman say , "Code Blue 4 CAA, Code Blue 4CCA." At that moment, I knew the medical response team was on their way to ICU. I continue to headI have these two sections bold because you change your tense; in the first part, you're writing in past tense, but the second part switches to present. Choose one tense and stay there throughout the whole essay. for the two big double doors at the end of the hall.I had no ideaBack to past tense here. what really goesBack to present tense here. on behind those two doors.I open the doors and all of the nurses wererunning around getting items for the cold blue patient.
I stood there watching and thinking to myself, "D id I come at a bad time?"
You've got quite a bit of dialogue in this piece, and you could benefit from a refresher in dialogue punctuation. Generally, your punctuation goes inside of the quotation marks, and there are some other rules about commas before and inside as well that you could benefit from. There are many free guides on the internet that can help you with this.
I'm not sure if the piece is finished; if it is, there needs to be a conclusion to the piece. If not, then disregard that comment.
Basically, it looks like you need a grammar and punctuation refresher. In addition to the online guides, I suggest one of the books from the "Prentice Hall Guide for College Writers" series written by Stephen Reid. You can pick any of them up cheap used, or get them from the library. I think there are six in the series now, and any of them would help you here.
I hope this helps.
Regards,
Gloria
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