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250 Word Essay on Education Reform


sonya15 4 / 29  
Feb 8, 2012   #1
Hi, I would really appreciate any comments on this essay (content, grammar, brevity). The prompt is how I would improve education in my community with $5,000. I will gladly check yours and provide meaningful feedback.

With $5,000, a world of difference could be made in just one community. I come from the northernmost suburbs of Illinois, a blue-collar area in which standardized test score averages are equal to those of the state. The problem with this though, is that there are students below the average who lack a strong foundation in the basics. In addition, seventy-five percent of high school students are unprepared for college.

My plan is to set up a tutoring center at the local high school in my community. This program could offer course credit or service hours to student or adult volunteers. My agenda is to establish five main goals:

1) Strengthen writing, math, science, and technology skills.
2) Provide students with a collaborative environment to help them become active, independent learners.
3) Assist bilingual students.
4) Guide students through the college application process.
5) Inspire tutored students to volunteer their skills later on.

Tutors, selected through interviews, will be assigned to appropriate subjects and students. The $5,000 will be used to advertise and recruit for the center, through means such as flyers and newspapers. A public presentation detailing the program's progress will take place biannually. Some funds will be used in appreciation of volunteers, through recognition lunches and certificates.

Young people and adults want service opportunities to develop their skills and experiences and feel that they are making a difference. Volunteers eliminate costs to students who may be unable to afford outside help. Ideally, the community will be brought closer and students will revitalize their skills through this program.

jajadiba 5 / 15  
Feb 8, 2012   #2
This is my suggestions....hopefully it can help you....

However, there are students below the average of....( better to state the range) who lack of strong foundation in the basics...(seems that your sentence is not complete). In addition, seventy-five percent of high school students are unprepared to go to college or university.

My plan is to establish a tutoring center for local high school students in my community. My aims to provide the center is to achieve the main goals:

1) Improving writing in English and math, science, and technology skills.
2) Provide students with a collaborative environment to help them become active in class and independent learners.
3) Assist bilingual students.
4) Guide students in application process for college & university
5) Inspired the students to share their knowledge with others

Tutors are selected through interviews and then assigned to appropriate subjects based on their qualfications. The $5,000 will be used to advertise and recruit for the center, through means of such flyers and newspapers. A public talks regarding the program's details will take place biannually.


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