In about 300 words, describe one thing you would like to see changed or improved in your own country

Please help me to correct this essay. Did I follow the topic?

One specific change Vietnam

I live in a small country in Southeast Asia, Vietnam. Where the quality of education is not good as well. So the quality of education in my country is the thing that I would like to see changed.

I live in Vietnam - a country in Southeast Asia - where the quality of education is not as good as other countries. This issue comes from many causes, but the most affect cause is the education policy of Ministry of Education and Training is not appropriate in the current socio-economic context. For example, my country's education policy has many limitations: the unrealistic lessons and curriculums; significant discrepancies between theoretical hours and practical hours; the lack of facilities for teaching and learning; the "quantity" not "quality" trainings. As a result, labour market has surplus human resources with low skills and lack of high quality human resources. Many graduates fail to find a job each year while recruiters can not recruit the human resources. The cause of this situation is due to the education policy is unreasonable, has not kept up with social trends. Resolving this issue I would like to see education policy in my country changed in the near future.

Education plays an important role which motivates the country's economy to develop. Looking back on the development path of education, in the past decades, Vietnam's education has significantly contributed to raising people's intellectual standards, has gained a lot of achievements. But it seems like we rested on our laurels too long. Actually in many seminars, almost every problem has been analyzed, pointed out the right wrong but the strange thing is that it was not a change that made. The limitations have made us backward compared to others countries in the region. Singapore - a country in Southeast Asia, has been honored as one of the best country for studying in the world, Vietnam is still a place where nobody thinks of. Futhermore, the future of a country depends on the youth. But now the young human resources haven't been tapped into their maximum potential. Change the education policy before it's too late.

I know there are teachers and students are doing well but not much. It's not easy, of course, to change such a big issue but if we don't do we can not change anything at all.

Hi. I think your essay has fulfilled the topic, but it might be better to separate three changes you want into three different paragraphs.

Also, try to avoid conjuctions like "so" and use others more suitable for academic writing.

Pha, complete this essay in two paragraphs. The first paragraph introduces the problem that you want to see resolved / changed / improved in your country. Be specific about the problems in education that you feel most affect the quality of teaching in Vietnam. Then, in the second paragraph, explain why you feel that changes need to be implemented. Write this as a cause and effect essay in order to make it more informative and relevant to the discussion. It is easy to complete this within 300 words, composed of 2 paragraphs. You need to make sure that you divide the essay into the discussion sections so that it will be easier for the reviewer to consider your essay information. Try to pick only big problem related to education that you want to resolve so that you can present the problem in 150 words. Then use the remaining 150 to justify the need for the improvement in that sector. It is that simple and easy to revise your essay response. You have too much going on in the current essay for it to become memorable to the reviewer. So keep it simple in content and presentation. That will give you a better chance of impressing the reviewer.

Hello, your idea about the topic is ok but I think you should use more complicated grammar structures so that your essay might be upgrade into higher level