Hi dumi, hope i have followed you. Thanks a lot in advance, feeling good to see your help.
Okkkkkk .... let see :)
Knowledge is the source of intelligence or awareness.
... Well, your first line is your hook and as Pahan said above it needs to be very catchy . Also it should be well aligned with your topic too. You attempt to say something great, but it doesn't deliver much meaning :(
Let's take the next few lines;
Any work can be learnt only through practical experience, i mean you cannot learn driving just by reading numerous books or by hearing lecture's on it.
Similarly, reading academic books or listening to daily lecture's in a university will not help students to excel.
Every graduate finally aims to work, no theory can help you while working unless you apply the concept and experience the result of it.
This too do not follow what I suggested. Once you get a strong entrance to your essay, you quickly need to introduce the topic to the reader. So, now you need to introduce the argument and show that it is important to discuss.
Thus, I strongly believe universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace.
.... this is done well.... this is firm and clear :)
Let me suggest you a sample introduction;"Knowledge is Power", said Sir Francis Bacon acknowledging its importance to mankind.
The universities play an important role in delivering such knowledge to people. (this sentence is to align the hook with the topic)Some believe that universities should focus more on providing students with knowledge that is more career related while others are of the view that universities should not deviate from their primary objective of delivering knowledge for its own sake, irrespective of whether they are career focused or not.
(background)However, I strongly believe universities should provide students with the knowledge and skills that are more career focused.
...(. your position)
Hope you get this clear now :)