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"work nowadays is more stressful and less leisurely than in the past" IELTS essay two


sisiyunjao 2 / 6  
Dec 6, 2010   #1
Many people think that work nowadays is more stressful and less leisurely than in the past, how about your opinion?

Answer:
In contemporary society, people are confronted with more stressful and less leisure working condition. Most of them expand their working hours and working intensity to achieve success.

It is manifest that people living in modern cities should spend more time on their work to grantee their job opportunists. Obviously, the booming population leads to stiff competition in big cities. If you take a rest and do not treat your job ...

...
Bobur 5 / 29  
Dec 6, 2010   #2
In contemporary society, people are confronted with more stressful and less leisure working conditions. Most of them expand their working hours and working intensity to achieve success.

It is a manifest that people living in modern cities should spend more time on their work to guarantee their job opportunities. Obviously, the booming population leads to stiff competition in big cities. If you take rest and do not treat your job seriously, you may be replaced by others who are more diligent and endeavor. No one will risk with their cariers, especially in this fast growing society. Meanwhile, the value of most countries emphases and encourages competition rather than enjoying and sharing(what?), which leads most people choose to live a life in a stressful way. For example, men from New York,which is one of the most popular cities in America,spends 50 hours on average doing his job .

Furthermore, most modern people think highly(urgently) about self-fulfillment. They pursuit success and social status strongly than those in the past, which requires them to sacrifice their leisure time. Only devoting themselves to work,they can realize their dreams and beat their rivals. Therefore, the environment of working places is intense and full of pressure.

Some people point out that advancement of technology has increased our working efficiency and releasing people from most of physical work, which makes work more friendly and interesting. However, it does not reliving the current stressful working situations which may be caused by people's attitude towards lifestyle and their philosophycal aspects.
Bobur 5 / 29  
Dec 6, 2010   #4
Not at all. I can't have my essays checked. I create a new thread by copy the essay,but on the next day it disappears...is there any hidden requirements?
OP sisiyunjao 2 / 6  
Dec 6, 2010   #5
I haven't found any hidden requirement, u may try it again. Hope everything works well.
Bobur 5 / 29  
Dec 7, 2010   #6
Hi again...i found out that my threads appear there for no more than a day...will try again later. Sisi, i understand that it isn't a site for getting acquiented,but i want to be in tune with someone who is taking ielts.maybe u can give ur e-mail?
lilyace 1 / 1  
Dec 7, 2010   #7
They pursuit success and social status (more) strongly than past

I think it's a really good ietls essay, the only thing i would say is to emphasize the main point more at last paragraph maybe good.
OP sisiyunjao 2 / 6  
Dec 11, 2010   #8
Sorry, i am not sure about some sentence, it looks like change my original meaning especially in the last paragraph
psebastian56 1 / 1  
Dec 11, 2010   #9
not really. go through and re-write it.
OP sisiyunjao 2 / 6  
Dec 11, 2010   #10
psebastian56
However, it does not relive the current stressful working situation that may change the attitude of the people and their lifestyle and philosophy aspects.
quite confuse about this sentence what i mean is root cause of stressful working condition may come from people's attitude of lifestyle and philosophy aspects.


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