There are some young people who prefer to work or travel to some country instead of entering university after finishing school.
- ... after finishing high
Even though they have several reasons for doing so and may gain huge advantages,
- mention a few advantages in general at this point to show the succeeding flow of discussion.
taking a break
from studies from studies also carries some drawbacks.
- - you mentioned from studies twice. Remember to review your paragraphs for redundancies
having a good paid job they can save enough money to continue their education.
they believe that having a good paying job before attending university will help them save money for their education. (A little problem with the sentence structure)
for their future studies
- useful in
if a young man wants to develop his/her language skills of the country where he/she wants to study, living abroad for one year is also a good option.
- if a student wants to further develop his language skills before enrolling in a foreign university, living abroad for a year prior to enrollment will help the student gain that experience and language training.
However, one of the disadvantages of not entering university after finishing school
- after finishing high
They tend to think that they are able to make a carrier without higher education
. (You are getting your words confused at this point. Having a dictionary handy for reference will help you understand word meanings and differences)
as they start
getting to forget some knowledge gained at school,
I hope my grammar suggestions will help you further improve upon this essay. Like I said before, your work is good. It just needs to be revised to a certain degree in order to make it shine. If you can present a longer discussion of your personal opinion on the topic, then that will also help with the further improvement of the paper.
Good luck :-)