Here is the topic
People have different job expectations for jobs. Some people prefer to do the same job for same company, while others prefer to change jobs frequently. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.
Here is my answer:
reasons for changing work places
Many workers change jobs frequently in these days and they think that changing jobs leads to more opportunities. Meanwhile, the other people believe that staying in the same jobs is a better choice.
One of the benefits of staying in one job increases the job security because changing jobs always means losing the stable income or moving house. To stay in one job is also means that you can avoid these problems. Another benefit to not changing job is that you can gain more experience and also increase your salary. The company may increase the salary as a reward or even give the promotion. On the other hand, those people who often change jobs may do not have enough experience to get the same salary compared to the people who stay in the same job for a long time.
However, there are also have some benefit of changing jobs. One of the benefits is that worker can learn more skill because working in the different company also means that learning more different kind of skills. Meanwhile, to change jobs can also bring some new challenge compared to not change the job, because new things can always enhance the people's motivation and keep the job flash. The last advantage is these kinds of people are seems as more confident and well-rounded because of facing the new things or learning the new skill.
In my opinion, to change jobs once in a while it means more benefit and is also a way to keep the life flash, and it is also another opportunities to challenge myself and learn more skill through the job.
One of the benefits of staying ... -- One of the benefits of staying in the same job is peopel can gain more job security from it than chaning their jobs frequently because .....
changing jobs always means losing ... -- job hopping partially(not "always" right?) means unstable income and no fixed abode, which can be avoided if chose to pursue long-term development in the same job.
Another benefit to not changing job is ... (How can you be sure that staying in a job is equal to "more salary" ? Well, sometimes they do not) -- Despite job security, professional experience, connections and horizen that acquire by staying stable in a job allow more oppoutunities of promotion and salary raise. On the flip side, those are harder to be guranteed without adequte time to prove your capability as well as job loyalty.
However, there are also [...] motivation and keep the job flash.-- For one thing, job hoppers probably can point to experience in a number of different companies, and exposure to a variety of challenges. In today's workforce, someone who has a diverse background is often more attractive to a potential employer because he can bring new ideas and ways of handling things.
The last advantage is these kinds of people ... (I think this is the result of your first advantage, not a different one, in that case I suggest you come up with another advantage of changing job)
In my opinion, to change jobs once in a while ... -- In my own perspective, drawbacks to job hopping exist, however, the pros should outweigh the cons if employees do benefit from it and maintain healthy relationships with past employers, not to mention the more diverse skills and opportinities they are able to harbour.
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Chou, your presentation runs in the exact opposite of what the prompt is asking you to do. Your method of paraphrasing is incomplete and has resulted in incomplete information sharing with the reader. Here is the correct paraphrasing for this essay prompt for your reference:
There are two types of employees that exist these days. The first kind, is the one that would rather just stay at one company. The other kind, is the person who is isn't afraid to try new jobs every so often. In this essay, I will discuss both these points of view with regards to job preferences along with my personal opinion regarding the topic.
Remember, the purpose of the opening statement is to prove that you understand what the topic and instructions for discussion are. When you provide an incomplete paragraph, you do not allow the examiner to properly assess your English comprehension skills. The format above is pretty much standard for all of the essay topics in this task, with minor variations. So you can consider the above example a template for most of the essays you will be working on.
You also need to focus your paragraphs on specific reasons for discussion. You only presented partially applicable reasons for each point of view. There was a lack of proper discussion development because you decided to just mention reasons instead of further highlighting your English composition skills by offering expanded discussions for each reason.
Finally, a concluding statement cannot represent your personal opinion. The requirement for the personal opinion is that it be presented in a full paragraph prior to the concluding statement. This is an error that exists in a glaring manner in your essay. Overall, your attempt is acceptable but has tremendous room for improvement. Try to remember the tips I gave you here and apply then to your next practice test.
your introduction and conclusion is short
paraphrase benefit: advantage, merit, aid, welfare, improvement
help and check my essay, please
Thanks everyone, I will take the test soon. All of your suggestion is so valued for me....hope you guys can help me again when I update the new essay.