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There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home.


ThuanPhat 1 / 3  
Jul 26, 2019   #1

WORK AND TECHNOLOGY



There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Over the last few years, of the most famous trends for working and studying styles in many parts of the world is working form home and learning distance. The demand for an increase in the number of employees and students are seeking to enroll in distance learning courses as well as telecommuting due to current technological advances. In this essay, I will provide the beneficial effects and the drawbacks of this trend.

To start with, both e-learning and online working offer a great degree of flexibility. The main reason that people are of this opinion is this enables workers and students to work and learn at their pace and unwind any time. In this case, because of the flexible schedule which brings some effective benefits, is reducing for the commuting time from home to the office or school instead of paying for transportation fees. Furthermore, it would also be advantageous to save a lot of money for online learning and working many tasks at the same time. The potential advantages of high-technology can deal with this situation for employees and students. If there is a requirement of professionals with specific skills, it can be experienced professionals from interacting and investigating by using the recorded video and communicating in social networks for some specific job such as accountant, computer engineer or learning foreign languages.

However, the potentially harmful effects of abusing high-tech are becoming more serious. Initially, a flexible schedule may reduce the motivation of students and make lower productivity as a predicting result. Indeed, online working and learning need a plan in step by step that worker and students must follow carefully to make a progress of developing and a higher result. In other words, the detrimental drawback of abusing digital world also lead to the decreasing contact between employees and management board and the interaction between students and teachers. As a result, this cause will make the misunderstanding from each other because of the lack of contact and communication. For enhance, students can not ask all their questions and miss the supports from teachers if they don't concentrate on the lessons and the observing from the teacher.

Although the potentially harmful effects of using high-technology are likely to happen, I would like to support that the more workers and students are using the beneficial functions of the digital world, the better they can improve their skills and results.TOPIC IS WORK AND TECHNOLOGY.
Maria - / 1,099 389  
Jul 26, 2019   #2
@ThuanPhat
Hello there. Welcome to the forum! I hope you find the feedback here to be beneficial for your writing endeavors.

First and foremost, try to make concise your sentences to ensure that your structure is more discernable. For instance, notice how your introductory paragraph could be improved through this. If you can do so, you'll be able to squeeze in more substantive information throughout your written text.

I would recommend improving your essay by incoporating firmer and more concrete examples. This will also help you illustrate without overexplaining. If you do this, you'll be able to curate more meaningful content. Try to apply this to your second paragraph.

Be cautious as well of small slip-ups in your language due to inconsistent grammar usage. It would be better if you can make constant your usage of words.

Best of luck as always.
OP ThuanPhat 1 / 3  
Jul 26, 2019   #3
@Maria
Dear Ms. Maria!
Thank for your feedback. It will help to improve my writing style. Actually, I will take the Ielts exam in the beggining of September so it's lucky cuz someone like you checking my essay! May you explain more detail such as where I need to rewrite my essay???


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