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Ielts - working abroad (the potential problems)

Anthony89 1 / 1  
Jul 25, 2012   #1
This is my ielts writting. Could you please help me to correct it. Thank you very much

Tittle: Working abroad can help employees earn a great deal of money and gain more benefits. However, some people think this trend has many negative impacts. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

There are many advantages of living and working in a foreign country. However, with the ongoing of the number people working aboard, there are also some negative impacts as well. Below are a few pros and cons of this matter.

First of all, invaluable experience about the new culture in country where you live and work. As to how to adapt yourself into will help you have a new picture of what is happening outside your country. Obviously, you can earn a large amount of money from working in developed countries. What is more, with the professionalism from the workplace, you are able to enrich your expertise. For instance, Asian software designers who work in Australia have opportunities to improve their English as well as their software specialities and skills.

On the other hand, negative impacts also exist along with the positive points mentioned. Employees who work abroad tend not to go back to their home countries, thereby leading to the increase of brain drain in those countries. Without skilled workers, the countries which are normally developing countries will not be able to develop at the same pace as they could have. Moreover, if this trend happens so quickly, it will result in unexpected immigration in countries with advanced economies. It is very obvious population in developed countries will increase sharply. And leading to many concerned problems such as houses, health, education.

To put it briefly, a mere fact is that there are both negative and positive side effects brought by the suggestion discussed earlier. Therefore, my advice is that governments should be aware of both the upside and downside to making the definitive decision. And so we are able to cope with the potential problems beforehand.
samenmohammad 10 / 19  
Jul 25, 2012   #2
As I know you should have ... Introduction....body....conclusion...
in body at first you should write a general statement
OP Anthony89 1 / 1  
Jul 26, 2012   #3
Thank you very much for your help joshuanderitu01. I really appreciate . But i am just wondering with such an ielts writting like that. Do i have enough content, meaning and Ielts writting requires. Anyone can help me? Thanks.

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