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'working continuously for hours' - i have written a story


likeapearl 1 / 2  
Nov 20, 2012   #1
hi everyone i want to write the story so please correct my mistakes because i am very bad in tenses..I'm writing part -1

It was another tiring day. After working continuously for hours i was so tired that my eyes were started closing but I wanted to reach my home as soon as possible. It was already 1 a.m so I hurried up and left my office. I rushed to the car parking and took out my keys from the my purse, opened the door of the car and then I started driving. It was my daily routine and I was used to with but the only thing which horrified me was a lonely road ,which i had to pass. After driving for 15 min i reached that place it as a deserted area covered with huge forest from both side of the road and my heart started pounding very fast and somewhere deep in my heart i had an instinct that take another route don't go from here but as it was a short cut i always preferred that road. All the bad news related to this place started coming in my head, most of the crime takes place on this road and then my car stopped in the middle of the road. I cursed that car and started sweating. I didn't want to come out off the car but still i had to. I checked the engine, then I saw a group of boys coming towards me, they crossed but they went ahead and stopped.
pacers7ind 11 / 25 2  
Nov 26, 2012   #2
likeapearl
Trying use more transitions to make it flow well. The person above me corrected most of what had to be corrected.
All the bad news related to this place started coming in my head because most of the crime takes place on this road. Then my car stopped in the middle of the road. I cursed that car and started sweating. I didn't want to come out off the car but I still had to. I checked the engine, and then I saw a group of boys coming towards me. They crossed but they went ahead and stopped.
OP likeapearl 1 / 2  
Nov 28, 2012   #3
thank you sir!! for the correction
OP likeapearl 1 / 2  
Nov 28, 2012   #4
pacers7ind
thank you..for your suggestion but I want to know about these lines that i have written " somewhere deep in my heart i had an instinct that take another route don't go from here but as it was a short cut i always preferred that road" here i have written don't go, is it fine to write it in present tense?


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