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Working from home or offcices? _ Ielts


salmav 8 / 27 4  
Jan 9, 2013   #1
Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their work from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employers.

How far do you agree or disagree?

Today, computer are now available everywhere, together with the Internet, they have play an important role in our lives. They apparently do help us in many ways, including allowing employers do their work at home instead of being in offices. Some people argue that it would be better for them to work from home, and I agree with this statement to a certain degree.

First of all, at home, they can work anytime that they want. They just need to complete their work on time. For example, they don't have to get up early in every morning, or have only one-hour break. Further on, working in offices is not a good idea for people living far as well as bad weathers. In the winter, employers absolutely find it hard to drive to work. Moreover, working from home also helps them to save money for buying fuel and somehow prevents them from accidents.

Secondly, people could spend more time with their families or doing something else if they stay at home, especially for women having babies. For instance, they can take care of their children, cook meals and do chores instead of getting baby sisters. Others can take up doing exercises, travel around, hanging out with friends or learn new things such as playing chess, cooking so forth.

By contrast, working from home also brings some drawbacks. As we know, when people make mistakes, there is no one to ask for advice so it could waste their time to fix them. In addition, it is impossible for everyone to infer lessons and gain experiences from others. In the long run, workers may be not able to work in team because they are acquainted with doing alone, which is clearly not good for them.

I hope that you could estimate the score for Writing task 2 for me. Thank you all :X

mcuong01 12 / 24 3  
Jan 10, 2013   #2
It is with regret that your grade is more likely to be 5.5 at most. Frankly, you need to make more use of low-frequent words as well as as complicated grammars as possible if you are to achieve a better result.
OP salmav 8 / 27 4  
Jan 10, 2013   #3
It is unnecessary to have a conclusion. so I dont put it in my essay.
mcuong01: yeah, thanks. I will try my best ^^
joythblessy 86 / 272 15  
Jan 10, 2013   #4
hai ..

Ielts test has its own format for writting essays...
If you write an essay with your own format the result will not be favorable for you...(.
So ...
Introduction ...
Body para...1-3
Conclusion
Is must if want to achieve a good score...
So... Be careful...):
Tessy
OP salmav 8 / 27 4  
Jan 10, 2013   #5
Oh I see now. You know what, my teacher used to tell me that conclusion have or not is ok. He also said sometimes it makes essays inconsistent or have idea repetitions.

Anw, Thank you :x
joythblessy 86 / 272 15  
Jan 10, 2013   #6
hai..
before trusting me or your teacher go to the british councils official web site, with example there is written about the 4 steps...):
This is my humble request...

Thanks for replay..
Tessy

:To avoid misleading others i wrote it, otherwise no problem for me...):
sentiflat10 1 / 5 2  
Jan 10, 2013   #7
Some of my suggestion
-Please use academic tone while writing essay.
-Trying avoiding over generalisation like "Today, computer are now available everywhere". There are still places in world where you may find no internet connection. Eg village in Amazon Jungle.

-Please follow a structure while writing essay and have only one idea in a paragraph ( 2nd paragraph is ambiguous)
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jan 12, 2013   #8
computer are now available everywhere

computer is now available/ computers are now available

do their work at home

do their work from home .... this is about performing their office functions from home without commuting to office. So it should be "from"and not "at"

First of all, at home, they can work anytime that they want.

First all, people do not have to follow rigid time schedules when they work from home.

Further on , working in offices is not a good idea for people living far as well as bad weathers.

Further, people who live in far away places find commuting to work place is quite a strain. This is the same case with the days that have bad weather conditions.

Good examples :)
colin 23 / 48 15  
Jan 12, 2013   #9
They apparently do help us in many ways, including allowing employers do their work at home instead of being in offices.
==>>They apparently do help us in many ways, including allowing employers to do their work at home instead of being in offices.
==>>They apparently do help us in many ways. For instance, it allows employers to fulfill their tasks at home instead of being in offices.

Further on, working in offices is not a good idea for people living far as well as bad weathers.
==>>Furthermore, working in offices is not convenient for people living far when the weather is bad.

You have been workiing so hard. Keep writing.
OP salmav 8 / 27 4  
Jan 12, 2013   #10
@colin : Thanks :X I will try my best :X
mcuong01 12 / 24 3  
Jan 14, 2013   #11
I will not wanna jump into discussions about how an examiner will assess an essay without a conclusion. I just think that writing a simple conclusion would be really helpful in lengthening your assignment. If you do not require a grade of 7.0 or more, I honestly advice you include that in your essay.
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Jan 14, 2013   #12
Today, computer are now available everywhere, together with the Internet, they have play an important role in our lives.

Today, computers and the internet are available everywhere and now, they are playing two very important roles in our lives.

Not all "work at home" jobs are so convenient. And there are a few of them which can not be done anytime you want.


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