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Should working hours be reduced?


Question:The length of the working week does not reflect modern lifestyle needs. It should be substantially reduced to give people more leisure time and time with their families. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. Write at least 350 words.

(As you can tell from the word requirement, this is not an IELTS task 2 essay, it's the kind of essay that allows you more scope to develop your ideas, and also requires more than just paraphrasing the question in the introduction.)

physical and mental health should not be overlooked



Six days a week, eight hours a day - most workers in the modern world should consider the workplace as their second home. This has given rise to the idea that the number of working hours per week should be decreased to meet the needs of the modern life, and create room for relaxation and family activities. This essay completely approves this idea and will give its supporting reasons.

Firstly, the long working week brings about undesirable effects upon family bonding. With estimatedly 48 hours per week, the employees spend the most efficient, energetic hours of their day at the workplace, not to mention extra shifts and home-working. When the working hours are finished and the employees return to their homes, they are more than likely to be left exhausted, be it physically or mentally. The implication of this is that family time would fall into the worn-out, tired part of the clock when most activities are hurried to get to the most efficient relaxation: sleep. In addition, workers of the modern world who suffer tremendous amounts of pressure would find it hard to switch off at home, hence their family time being clogged with thoughts of work in their heads. Spending quality time with families, therefore, would essentially become a demanding task.

Secondly, the current large number of working hours implies that the workers would be hindered to enjoy entertainment activities throughout the week. Hobbies and pastimes, however seemingly unimportant, develop a spiritual life outside of work for the workers, and thus nurture their mental health and release the stress. With the modern developments giving rise to pressure at the workplace, the employees should be encouraged to enjoy leisure activities to eradicate the negative emotions resulted from work problems. And this cannot be accomplished with the employees being exhausted after long working hours.

On the opposing side, some may argue that the current working hours should be maintained to guarantee sufficient productivity, and thus maintain the current wage. Nevertheless, the massive growth of technology would allow most jobs to become more and more time-efficient, which would significantly reduce the necessary working time. In addition, a thoroughly relaxed and refreshed worker would undebatably produce better outcome at work than a physically and mentally tired employee.

In conclusion, the cruciality of relaxation and family time to the workers' physical and mental health should not be overlooked. Therefore, current working hours should be significantly reduced. This would be facilitated by the development of technology and would result in enhanced performance at work.

Please help be review this. Thank you!

Firstly, the long working for week weeks brings about affects undesirable effects upon family bonding. With estimatedly estimation (please remember that after the conjunction should be noun) 48 hours per week, , they are more than likely to be left feel exhausted, be it physically or mentally. The implication of this is that the family time .
Excellent article, however you should numerate the alternatives of reducing the work articles like working from home some days of the week and i think giving examples and citations would be more compelling to the reader. for example; IBM company lets its employees to work from their homes to reduce the work stress and load and so on.
Hi ruby,....

You must remember in IELTS writing task 2, there is formula you need to follow.

1. Introduction
2. Overview
3. Main Paragraph 1
4. Main Paragraph 2
5. Conclusion

Six days a week, [...] its supporting reasons.

This part should contain introduction and overview. You may paraphrase the question again. Then state your opinion, weather you agree or disagree. provide 2 sentence the reason you agree or disagree.

Main paragraph 1
repeat your first reason by paraphrase, explain more and give example if needed.

Main paragraph 2
repeat your second reason by paraphrase, explain more and give example if needed.

Conclusion
State again your opinion.

Thank you
Oct 12, 2017   #5
Tran, are you taking the GRE test as well as the IELTS? The reason that I ask is because you did not specify the type of test this essay prompt is for. However, judging by the method of your discussion, it could be that you are discussing it in a GRE format essay test. Am I correct in making this assumption? If that is the case then, your work is right on the mark.

You provided a neat paraphrasing of the original requirements and also presented valid discussions in support of your opinion. However, the essay would have been better developed if you somehow related the knowledge you presented with your personal experience as well. If you consider the prompt instructions, it becomes obvious that the essay would have appreciated the contribution of your personal experience alongside the theoretical discussion. This would most likely have led to an increased score on your part as you would have presented the most valid and accurate discussion for the prompt given.
@Holt Thank you for your kind remarks and very helpful advice! But no, I'm not taking the GRE test. This is for my country's national exam for talented students that I'm taking next January.

@digaprasiska Well as I've stated right in the thread, I'm not writing this in the IELTS task 2 format, but thanks anyway!
@Hodhod That is a great idea! Thank you!
@irfan727 Thanks!
Hi, I thought your writing was very good, but I do have a few suggestions:

bonding. Working an estimated 48 hours per week,

extra shifts and home-working. {I don't think "home-working" is an accepted term}

hence their family time becomes clogged

therefore, would essentially becomes a demanding task. {Since you are not really talking about a hypothetical, I don't think "would" is necessary here}

implies that the workers are hindered from enjoying entertainment activities

negative emotions resulting from work problems.

And {some people advise against beginning sentences with conjunctions} this cannot be accomplished

growth of technology has allowed most jobs to become

more and more time-efficient, which would significantly reducing the necessary working time.

worker would undebatably {not sure this is a word - maybe "indubitably"?} produce better outcome at work than a physically and mentally tired employee.

This would be facilitated by the development of technology and would result in enhanced performance at work. {here "would" is appropriate, since you are talking about the hypothetical situation in which your suggestions are implemented}
@rubychautran
Hi ruby. Do you have any personal experience to back up or support your points? I think it would be necessary to include it in your argument no matter how brief. It would appear more convincing to the reader.


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