Working for the same or different company for all life. Discuss both view and give opinion (IELTS)

I greatly appreciate if you correct my essay.

A number of people choose a company and they stay with this organization for the rest of their working life while others feel that there is more interesting when they change their working environment. Although both views have its benefits and drawbacks, I believe that employees should work for several companies.

On the one hand, there are several benefits for people who only work in a company. Firstly, they have a thorough understanding of their job, and it is also easy for them to connect to other staffs in working processes. For example, forming a group for new project is quite easy and effective because people have worked together before. Secondly, a stable job is quite safe because its pension and health insurance when employees retire. One more thing, employers value long-term workers for their loyalty, so that employees might be nominated for higher position as well a better reward.

On the other hand, people who stay with the same organization can get stuck doing same job year by year, and it may lead to boredom and disillusionment. Changing from one company to another may be a strategic decision, but with a deliberate plan, employees can have and acquire a range of skills and experience. For example, employees can learn managing skill when they work for an international organization in comparison with run-state company. They can also get higher incomes and bright prospects because their contribution in a larger scale. Another point, they can develop their flexible ability to adapt effectively to constant changing of the economic system.

In conclusion, working in a same organization during working life may be safe, but changing to new organization has more interesting and help workers adapt quickly in the new challenge and chance of globalization.

kttrung, the essay is asking you compare the advantages and disadvantages of working with the same company for life, or constantly changing companies throughout your life. I read your complete essay and I feel that you have left the essay under developed and lacking in discussion points. You could have discussed better reasons for staying with the same company for life such as possible retirement plans, loyalty incentives, and bonuses for loyal employees.

For the changing companies point of view, your reason pertaining to a person gaining knowledge and skill is valid and should be further developed. Explain that changing companies allows a person to not only gain experience, but also offers him a better chance of finding his occupational niche in the job market. Working for others in various capacities is also a way people eventually come to work for themselves, without being connected to a single company, later on in their lives. You could develop that suggestion of mine if you wish.

Then, there is the problem of the new idea that you introduced in your conclusion. You know very well that new ideas cannot be presented at the end of an essay. So you will need to develop the globalization idea in relation to the two choices and then come up with a new conclusion that summarizes the content of your essay.