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Working as a volunteer after school time could be beneficial and mandatory.


antran1995 1 / 1  
Apr 20, 2016   #1
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school program

Working as a volunteer after school time could be beneficial and mandatory. In my point of view, I partly agree with this opinion because of some drawbacks could be associated with it.

There are some benefits from working charity work, which could bring more practical perception about life to students, particularly high school students who will be the main labour in next few years. It is easily seen that nowadays, some work need soft skills, communication skills, and social understanding which could be accumulated by doing unpaid work. Thus, working as a volunteer after school time would be a good preparation for their future careers with practical skills. Furthermore, unpaid community service could reduce the rich and poor gap which is one of crucial issues in the modern society. When young people do have some free time, helping children in an orphanage with some basic work such as teaching a sport or playing with them would relieve their lost and give them more positive view about life.

However, there would be another story if all students are obligated to do unpaid work that could bring some negative effects. For some poor students, working part time jobs after school time is becoming popular. In fact, to have enough money for growing university institution, they have to work after school and there would be a burden if they are forced to serve community for free. In addition, it could affect negatively to both kinds of students who are not interested in working voluntarily and some are too eager to work. It is clear that students who are not keen on doing unpaid work would do it ineffectively and the other who are very fascinated could be distracted from their study.

In conclusion, while it would be really useful activity for students to participate in community services, but also it would be better if it is in voluntary form and there is will be no force and rules for doing unpaid works.

Wolf Larsen - / 127 47  
Apr 20, 2016   #2
Hello antran1995

Your text needs to be refined stylistically. I rewrote some sentences for you:
In my point [...] I partially agree with this point of view, because there are indeed some drawbacks to working as a volunteer.
There are [...] There are some benefits to the concerned activity, as well, because by being associated with it, students learn how to act as the society's productive members.

Thus [...] Thus, there is a good reason to believe that by volunteering to do social work, students are able to acquire a number of different career-related skills.

could reduce [...] could narrow down the gap between the rich and poor...
would relieve [...] would reduce the severity of their anxieties...
However [...] However, it would be another story if it was mandatory for students to do this kind of work.
In fact, [...] The reason for this is that this allows them to make some extra money and it they would not be thrilled with the idea of being forced to do any work for free.

In addition [...] This would have a strongly negative effect on both types of students: those who exhibit much enthusiasm for working as volunteers, and on those who could not care less about becoming affiliated with the activity in question.

In conclusion [...] Even though there can be only a few doubts about the fact that the concerned activity is socially beneficial, it is just as clear that students should not be coerced to become volunteers against their will.

I hope it helped. Regards.
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Apr 21, 2016   #3
Hello Tran, here's some additional insights towards your essay.

- Working as a volunteer after school time
- couldcan be beneficial
- drawbacks that could be

- working for charity work ,
- whichthis could bring
- labour infor the next few years.
- couldcan ( mind your verb forms ) be
- accumulatedacquired by doing unpaid work.
- after school time would be a
- careers with practical skills( this phrase is not necessary) .
- of the crucial issues
- them, this willwould relieve their
- lost( lost - things misplaced / loss - grieving from loss of someone ) and give

There you have Tran, as you can see, this is only the first paragraph and there's a lot of work to be done. Now, I hope the corrections above are useful to your revision.


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